


Acceptance

by RubyRaspberry



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2007 Movie), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: 2007 Raph needs more love, Both literally and figuratively, Boys are no longer teens, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Get some feel-good fluff up in here, Good thing Don upgraded them to an unlimited texting plan, Happy ending is what we're all here for, I just realized April is mentioned but never makes an appearance, I love the Nighwatcher, I'm just a drama llama, Leo's a bro, Major insecurity, Might get a little sappy, Mikey just wants to see his favorite ship sail, My first tagging attempt is getting out of control, Romance, Seriously he's the actual MVP here, Some Swearing, Splinter might channel Uncle Iroh at some point, Will you ever see his face, emotions are hard, emphasis on Sort Of, fight me, not too much though, so do you, some drama, sort of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyRaspberry/pseuds/RubyRaspberry
Summary: The Nightwatcher's made it his personal mission to knock every thug in New York into the dirt, all while keeping his vigilante identity a secret from both the public and his own family. He liked to think the gig was going pretty well, at least until he met you and you promptly turned his entire world upside down. Problem is, he's growing far too attached to his new best friend as lies beget more lies...and you've still never seen his real face behind the mask.Yeah, he's royally screwed.Featuring Raphael from the 2007 TMNT film. Much love!





	1. Convergence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, lovelies! Soooo, it’s been about a lifetime since I’ve published anything online. As a result, I confess that my writing skills have become so unpolished that I’m very anxious to even post this, but ultimately I decided to do so anyway due to the general lack of fics written for Nightwatcher!Raph from the 2007 movie. He deserves a lot more love. C: Please go easy on me and maybe take things with a grain of salt? I did have a lot of fun writing this story, so at least there’s that. It won’t be too long, maybe only about 4 main chapters and a little epilogue of sorts.
> 
> OH, AND SPOILER ALERT - I aged the brothers up in this fic so that they’re in their 20’s instead of teenagers. I’m talking Fully-Grown Mutant Ninja Turtles. Is it blasphemy? Well, I’m in my 20’s and as a result, I feel iffy writing trashy romance fanfiction involving teenagers. I’m probably just getting old, but I still feel a lot more comfortable this way. Thanks for your understanding, and hope you enjoy! <3

**THREE MEMBERS OF THE NOTORIOUS PURPLE DRAGON GANG CAPTURED AND NOW IN POLICE CUSTODY.**

You lifted a forkful of fried rice to your mouth as you settled into your couch to watch the news, your eyes scanning the marquee that floated across the top of the screen. The reporter who was at the scene glanced over her shoulder, where several local thugs were being forcibly ushered into a police van several yards away. The chains that had bound and suspended them from an overhanging light pole were now clustered loosely upon the ground. She turned back to the camera while lifting a microphone to her mouth.

"...And much like multiple prior arrests made by the New York Police Department over the past year, the latest group of criminals appears to have been apprehended by none other than the mysterious vigilante renowned as the Nightwatcher. Very little is currently known about them, to include their true identity or the motivation behind their actions, but one thing is clear: they seem determined to take justice into their own hands."

You continued to consume your dinner in silence as you mulled over this news bulletin. New York was certainly no stranger to the Nightwatcher, who had proven to be a major object of excited gossip and fascination for months. Whoever they were, they regularly went out of their way to subdue and entrap the city's criminals before leaving them for the police to find, although they were only active at night and no one had ever seen their face.

You had only lived in Manhattan for about a year yourself, so the vigilante activities were an ongoing part of the news for as long as you'd been a resident and it almost seemed par for the course by now. While local law enforcement and politicians certainly had a few choice words to say on the matter, you personally felt that as long as they continued to apprehend dangerous crooks, they were a boon to the city.

_'Sort of like our own version of Batman,'_ you thought to yourself while grinning. _'Our very own Dark Knight.'_

Once you finished off your meal and scraped the remnants into the trash, you stretched your arms over your head and debated how to best spend the rest of your evening. It was a Friday night and you were at the height of your youth, so one would think that you'd be out and about in a bustling city like the Big Apple. But more often than not, work left you feeling exhausted and simply in need of some time to unwind at the end of the day, so curling up with a nice novel honestly sounded much more appealing.

You did so for a good forty-five minutes, thumbing through the pages of the latest Dresden Files novel and giggling to yourself at the protagonist's snarky commentary. New York could sure use its own friendly neighborhood wizard-for-hire. But you suddenly snapped to attention when you heard a deafening thud just outside of your apartment, as if something very heavy had collapsed upon your fire escape and shook its very foundation.

What the hell was that?

You swallowed thickly and set your book aside with shaking hands, your heart racing in your chest as you listened to the ringing silence that followed. Several agonizing moments passed without further incident, although this did nothing to assuage your trepidation. Had you remembered to lock all of your doors and windows? Should you be arming yourself? Even though your body was trembling from head to toe, you crept toward the sliding glass door that opened up onto your veranda and prepared to steal a quick glance past the curtain.

When you did, you immediately had to stifle a scream of surprise.

A large silhouette was crumpled upon the terrace, covered head to toe in a strange metallic costume, complete with large black gloves and a visored helmet. Whoever they were, they weren't moving, and you felt a flash of panic streak through your chest. But before you could figure out what to do, you watched a broad pair of shoulders shift slightly as they tried to push themselves up into a sitting position, only to groan and sag back down again. Whoever it was, they were clearly in terrible pain, and you faltered as an involuntary wave of concern washed over you.

"W-whoa! Hey! Are you all right?" You threw the door open and knelt beside the mysterious figure, gingerly hovering your hands over various points of their body without actually touching them, not knowing where the source of the problem was.

They immediately jolted when they heard your voice and made another attempt to move, this time much more forceful than the first, but the result was the same. A harsh gasp of pain clued you into the fact that he was male, and you tried examining the ground below him for any bloodstains. Thankfully you found none, though you weren't expecting him to suddenly speak.

"Don't...don't touch me..." he growled, evidently trying to make himself sound intimidating, but he only succeeded in making you abandon your prior misgivings and instead reach for your phone.

"It's going to be all right," you assured him, placing a light hand upon his shoulder while you lifted the other to your ear, "I'm going to call an ambulance for you, okay?"

He sharply jerked beneath your grasp and vehemently shook his helmet-covered head.

" _No!_ Don't!" You slowly lowered your cell from your ear, staring down at him in surprise.

"Why not? You're obviously in pain. I'm just trying to help you."

"No. No. Don't call anybody," he groaned, straining himself to sit up and failing miserably again. " _Ugh_ , damn it! This was the last thing I needed! Tonight really ain't my night."

You noted that he had a thick Brooklyn accent, and very reluctantly set down your phone. You wanted to honor his wishes, but you also felt as though you couldn't just leave an injured person laying here upon your veranda. For god's sake, the guy could barely move!

"What happened to you?" you asked, your voice hushed. "How'd you even end up here?"

"Real long story," he growled, "None o' your beeswax, lady. I'll be outta your hair soon's I can stand up, anyway."

But that was a lot easier said than done. After repeated futile attempts to rise to his feet, you finally ducked down and draped one of his arms over your shoulder, then wrapped the other around his armored waist. His head shot toward you, though you couldn't see his eyes or read his expression thanks to his dark visor.

"What're ya doin'?!" he snapped, not that he was in much of a position to stop you.

"Helping you up," you responded, "You clearly can't do it by yourself right now, can you? C'mon."

He couldn't argue with that, however begrudgingly, and at last allowed you to help him back to his feet. He staggered a little once he was standing again thanks to his unsteady balance. You suspected he must be suffering from some vertigo as well, and set your mouth into a tight frown.

"Look, you're not in any condition to go anywhere right now. For whatever stubborn, ridiculous reason, you don't want me to call you an ambulance. Fine. But you're still about to keel over, so you need to take it easy for a while. Come sit down."

You couldn't believe that you were offering, especially as you were still complete strangers and you had no idea who you were technically inviting into your home, but hey, you were a softhearted idiot who couldn't stand to see someone suffer.

"No!" he protested, trying to shove himself away from you, "Thanks for the offer, but no way. I've gotta get goin', stat."

You watched him take two steps before he nearly collapsed against your railing with dizziness. You arched an eyebrow and heard him growl again, this time in frustration.

"Are you _sure_?" you asked, almost sarcastically.

"Jeez, lady!" he grunted, "Damn if ya ain't persistent. But I can't stay."

"Why not? You want to just continue stumbling around out here on my terrace?" you pointed out, and his gloved fingers tightly closed around the handrail. "I won't force you to stay. But I do think it's in your best interest to at least wait until you can walk in a straight line again."

He was silent for a very long moment. Then you heard him exhale deeply in a sigh that was full of resignation and irritation.

"...Fine. _Fine_. Just for a little bit. I ain't takin' off my helmet, though, so don't ask."

"Okay," you agreed, setting aside your growing curiosity in favor of helping him inside. Once you were both safely in the living room, you carefully helped him lay down upon the couch. He hissed in pain a couple of times, and now under the fluorescent lighting inside your apartment, you could see the hilt of something wedged deeply into the side of his chest. Oh, shit.

"You were attacked?" you whispered, "Was that why you landed on my balcony? Did you fall there? Are you..."

Suddenly, with the force of a ton of bricks, it hit you all at once. Who else would be wandering rooftops late at night, wear a suspicious full-body costume to hide his identity, and run the risk of being attacked or injured? Holy frikkin' hell. _You knew who this was._

"You're the Nightwatcher!" you gasped, pointing at him perhaps a tad too dramatically, but hey.

"Congrats, Sherlock," he muttered, placing one of his hands near the site of the wound and wincing. "Sorry, lady, but I don't give out autographs."

"Okay, you can feel free to quit calling me 'lady' any time now," you shot back with a scowl, "It's ( _Name_ ). I'm only in my twenties, so quit making me feel like an old biddy."

"Heh." For the first time he actually chuckled a little, though the sound was muffled by his helmet. "All right, ( _Name_ ). Fair enough. Ya let me into your home and all, and you haven't called the cops on me so far. Thanks for that. Ya promise you can keep mum?"

"Of course I can." You gathered a couple of extra pillows to situate beneath his neck to help him rest more comfortably. "I think you're doing something really great for this city, you know. You're the one who dishes out justice when the cops aren't there to protect us. To be honest, I've actually admired you since I moved to New York."

It felt extremely peculiar to be holding such a cavalier conversation with the very same vigilante whom you'd watched on the news only an hour earlier, but you were being completely truthful. You sensed his surprise when he turned his head to stare at you, even though you still couldn't make out any of his features behind his visor.

"Really?" he mumbled. When you nodded, you heard him sigh again. "Cool. Uh, thanks, I guess. Nice to hear that someone actually appreciates what I've been doin' all this time. Half the time I try to help somebody, they treat me like I'm some kind of villain."

"Sounds like it's pretty typical for a vigilante, though. Any deviation from the law means you have to act as a protector from the shadows, and people are bound to misunderstand you, aren't they?"

"Yeah." His voice was quiet, and he looked away. "But I ain't gonna stop. Crime doesn't take a break just because I do. Someone's gotta look out for this city."

"You _are_ injured, though." When he didn't respond, now it was your turn to sigh. "Look, Batman. I'll try to help you, okay?" He snorted a little with disdainful laughter.

"I sure as hell ain't Batman," he retorted, and then hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "It's, uh...Raph. Raphael."

You hadn't expected him to tell you his real name, and your eyes widened in surprise. But then you smiled gently and nodded. He was trusting you to keep his secret, and you damn well planned on it.

"Before anything else, can I get you some water? Tea? Something to drink? Sorry I don't keep beer stashed in my fridge, if you were in the mood for a Heineken."

"Nah, it's good. A tall glass of water sounds real nice though, not gonna lie."

"Coming right at you." You disappeared into the kitchen to pour him some, and when you returned, he gratefully accepted it.

"Thanks, ( _Name_ ). Uh...ya mind lookin' away?"

"I get it. I can't see your face. I understand." You averted your head and heard the sound of him gulping down the water in a matter of seconds. He must have been parched, and set down the empty glass less than a minute later. You heard the sound of his visor clicking back into place before he informed you that it was fine to turn around again.

"It's...not for the reason ya think. I told ya my name after all, didn't I? You seem like an honest enough gal. But trust me, takin' a look at my mug ain't a good idea." Something deeply uncomfortable was etched in his voice, but you shook your head.

"I'm not going to push it, Raph. You've got your reasons and your secrets, and that's fine. The city's safer because of you, so I'm not going to question it." You felt him staring at you again and felt mildly self-conscious, so you quickly plowed onward. "So, about that weapon in your chest...what'd you get hit with?"

"Damned if I know," he groaned, placing one hand upon the hilt and hissing sharply in pain again. "Hit me while I was dealin' with some lunatics from the Foot up on a rooftop close by. We're real lucky they haven't busted in here, actually."

"Maybe they were just trying to escape," you said with a twinge of nervousness, "Your reputation does precede you, you know. The average New York thug is terrified of you."

He chuckled a little, although his breathing was gradually growing more labored and shallow. You frowned and bit your lower lip, wondering what the best course of action was. You understood exactly why he didn't want you to call an ambulance now, as he couldn't afford to reveal his identity. But his wound had to be dealt with regardless and it was steadily worsening.

"I think we're going to have to get that thing out of you," you announced, rising to your feet and placing your hands upon your hips. Raph grunted.

"Not a good idea. It's what's holdin' everything in there. Soon as you take it out, I'll bleed all over your couch and floor."

"So what?" You rolled your eyes. "It's just a piece of furniture, and we can easily lay down some towels. You can't keep that thing in your stomach much longer. You're probably going to need stitches, too."

"You don't happen to be a nurse, do ya?" he asked wryly, and you shook your head. "Thought so. Look, I appreciate it, but ya don't have to do this. I'll take care of it myself."

"How? You can't even sit up without my help. Be right back." You vanished into the hall to retrieve your emergency first aid kit from the storage closet, and returned while prying it open with one of your fingernails. "Let's see what we've got in here. Ahhh, topical anesthetic, antibiotic ointment, gauze, surgical tape, and string for sutures. Imagine that?"

"You've never given anybody stitches before," Raph growled, trying to shift himself to the side, only to regret it severely and groan in pain. "No offense, but I don't really wanna be your first test subject."

"Do either of us have a choice? The longer we argue about this, the worse your condition is getting. We can't keep putting this off, Raphael."

"Damn. Fine! Fine. Just be careful, will ya? I'll help talk ya through some of this. Not my first rodeo, so I've got an idea of how it works."

"Okay. Team effort. Let's do this. But first, we have to get this thing out of you. It's probably going to hurt like a bitch. You need something to bite down on."

"Already got it covered." He gestured to his belt, where you hadn't realized that a large, prong-like weapon was sheathed. You retrieved it for him so he wouldn't have to bend at a painful, awkward angle, and he turned away from you while flipping up the lower part of his helmet. You still couldn't discern any section of his face, but it was clear that he'd already stuck the leather hilt into his mouth as his voice was now slightly muffled. "Go."

You swallowed hard and reminded yourself to just do it quickly to get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid. It would only hurt him more if you were excruciatingly slow about it and dragged it out. You prayed that it was a straight-edged weapon rather than a serrated one that would cause him additional injury upon pulling out, and then took a careful hold of the edge that was peeking above his armor.

You raised your eyes to Raph's visor, and he nodded. In one swift motion, you yanked it out while trying to keep it as straight as possible, and he immediately ground his teeth against the hilt of his weapon while trying to stifle a shout of pain. But it was done, and he spat out his weapon before readjusting the helmet back into place. Then you passed the small bloodstained object to him once he gestured for it.

"Just a kunai. Those bastards. Least it wasn't a shuriken," he growled after examining the offending object. "Thanks for pullin' it out."

"You bet. Let's get working on patching you up." Blood was already seeping out of his armor, and you frowned to yourself as you realized another problem had arisen. "Can we remove this plate? It's going to be tough to clean up the wound or suture you with this in the way."

"Aw, shit," he said with the air of someone who had completely forgotten something up until that moment. "I...uh...damn, I know you're right, but it ain't a good idea, ( _Name_ ). For the same reason I can't let ya see my face."

"Look, I don't _care_ what's under there," you said in exasperation. "You're injured, and I'm trying to help you! I don't know if you're embarrassed, or if you think you have easily-identifiable tattoos, or—"

"None of that shit." He shook his head. "But trust me, you won't be okay with what ya see."

"Okay then, O Stubborn One, how do you propose we deal with this open wound of yours, then?" You glared at him, and he pounded his fist into the couch.

"I'll deal with it myself!"

"Let me reiterate, _how_? You can barely move! I don't care what's under your armor, okay? I'm not going to let you bleed out in my living room just because you're embarrassed or whatever the hell it is! You know I'm not going to rat you out to anyone!"

"It's not that!" he snapped, sounding more frustrated than ever, "Listen, I wanna explain, but—"

"But what? Why won't you let me help you?" You grimaced, and he made an irritated sound in the back of his throat.

"You're gonna think I'm some kinda **freak** , what's why!" he bellowed, stunning you into silence. What on earth was he talking about? "Just...just give me that. I'll bandage myself."

"Raph..." You sighed. "You're hurt. I want to help you. You've helped so many people, why can't one of us finally return the favor? Your secret is my secret. How could I ever think less of you for any reason, especially something so petty as physical appearance?"

"Agh, damn it! You're really makin' this hard! Listen, I ain't normal, all right?" He extended his gloved hand out to you, and you gave a jolt of surprise. For the first time, you realized that he had only three fingers instead of five. He growled when he read the shock on your face. "See? I'm not like you. You think that's bad? Just wait until ya get a look under my armor."

"Okay. Okay, look." You took a deep breath to calm yourself. "I stand by what I said before. I don't care what you look like under there. You don't even have to take off your helmet. All I want to do is at the very least, disinfect and bandage up your wound. I want to _help_ you!"

He was silent for an excruciatingly long, tense moment. Then with hands that shook from exertion due to his weakened state, he reached down and pressed a small latch upon his armor that released the plate with a resounding _click_. But he turned his head toward you first instead of immediately lifting it away from his chest.

"You're not gonna faint or scream, are you?" His voice was both reluctant and suspicious. You shook your head to encourage him.

"Not even going to ask any questions."

You heard him puff out another heavy sigh, as if he was steeling himself for this. Then he very slowly removed the perforated section of armor, grunting under his breath as it exposed his injury to the open air, and you blinked when his torso came into view.

A series of taupe-colored plates came together to form an unusual, shield-like overlay upon his chest. You weren't entirely sure what you were even looking at, and without thinking you curiously trailed one of your hands down it, taking care not to graze the damaged section on the side. Raph sucked in an audible, shaky breath as your fingertips skimmed across the hardened surface, and you immediately stopped while flushing in embarrassment.

"S-sorry. Anyway, here we go. First, antibiotic ointment." The kunai had pierced straight through his armor and into the scaly green skin of his side, where blood continued to dribble out in steady rivulets. You carefully applied the gel to his wound to disinfect it after cleaning away some of the blood, and neither of you exchanged any words over the next several minutes as you administered the topical anesthetic to help numb the surrounding area.

You prepared the surgical needle with a length of thread, trying to keep yourself steady. Indeed you'd never done this before, and felt exceedingly nervous as a result. But you tried not to show any of that to Raph, especially now that you'd finally convinced him to allow you to help him, and deftly lowered your fingers beside the site of the wound.

"You might feel a few pinches, but the worst of it should be dulled by the anesthetic." You glanced up at him anxiously. "Stop me if I hurt you or I'm doing something wrong."

"Just do it," he growled, "How big does it look?"

"About an inch and a half in length, maybe a few centimeters in diameter. It's thankfully not huge."

"Got it. Close it up and finish it with a knot," he explained, and you nodded. You delicately positioned the needle over his skin before sinking it in, and brought it forward to meet the other side while gently tugging the length of thread through. Raph didn't flinch or say anything, so you assumed it was all right to keep going, and followed suit for about ten very intense minutes as you focused upon doing this correctly and causing him minimal discomfort.

At last the entire wound was stitched shut and you tied it off with a surgical knot as Raph described, trying to take minimal notice of the unusual dark green shade of his skin. Then you topped it with more antibiotic gel and taped a large square of gauze atop the freshly-sutured wound. Once you were satisfied that he was stable, you lifted the chest plate of his armor and helped him re-situate it until he was fully protected again, although he'd obviously have to mend that puncture in the metal.

"Hang on. Let me get you something else." You grabbed his empty glass before he could say anything, and riffled through your medicine cabinet in the bathroom until you found a couple of Tylenol. Then you refilled his glass and brought it back to him. "Take these to help with some of the pain and inflammation."

"Thanks." He did so, and once he'd finished, an awkward silence settled over the room. You didn't know what the hell to say. You’d seen it, and you both knew it. But you'd also promised not to ask any questions, so you held your tongue and finally cleared your throat.

"You might want to consider resting for a while, though I'm sure it's not entirely comfortable in that costume of yours."

"I'll be fine. Uh...thanks for stitchin' me up. Appreciate it."

"You should take my bed so you have more space. I know my couch kind of sucks." You twiddled your thumbs, feeling uncomfortable but hoping to defuse some of the tension in the air.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm good right here. Thanks for letting me crash."

"You bet. If you're hungry, let me know. You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Uh...I'll give you some space. Here." You passed him the TV remote so that he could flip through a few channels if he got bored. "Holler if you need anything."

"Hey, ( _Name_ ). Wait a sec." His voice stopped you just as you were about to leave the room, and you glanced at him questioningly over your shoulder. "Uh, thanks for everything. Seriously. And for...not prying." He seemed embarrassed and gruff, as if good manners didn't come easily to him, but you appreciated his intent to express them all the same. Your face softened into a smile.

"You're welcome, Raphael. I'm really glad I could help. Um...good night." You wished you could see his face.

"G'night," he mumbled back before settling down into the cushions.

When you woke up the next morning, your couch was empty and the Nightwatcher's glass was in the sink. You found a note on the kitchen counter, however, covered in a messy scrawl that somehow didn't surprise you. You smiled to yourself as you lifted it up to read it.

_(Name), thanks for last night. Didn't want to wake you, so I let myself out. It's good to know that people like you are still out there. See you around sometime, and take it easy. -Raph_

You slipped the note into your drawer, marveling at the chance encounter. Now you'd never think of New York evenings the same way, but you already felt safer knowing that he was out there and he wasn't some misguided lunatic, either.

_'See you around sometime.'_ Did he really expect you to meet again in the future? Oddly enough, you found that you were actually looking forward to the notion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If isn’t already obvious, I don’t have any real medical knowledge, and in this story, neither do you! Sorry. The reader did her best, even if it was rudimentary. As long as sepsis doesn’t set in, let’s call it a success. ;D Thanks for reading! More chapters are coming soon.


	2. Camaraderie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to just throw the second chapter out there too since it's already complete; might as well! You guys don't know how much of a huge deal this is for me to be posting something online, though. I'm dead serious. I have butterflies and everything, lol. I'll wait a bit longer to post the 3rd chapter though to make sure someone actually likes this trash I'm cobbling together. Hope you enjoy!!

The next time you met Raphael, it was nearly a month later and during a late-night convenience store run. You were working on your prep for the GRE exam so that you could apply for grad school, and in the middle of your cramming session developed an overpowering craving for powdered donuts.

That was what led you to head down a couple of blocks to the nearest 7-11 to take care of your sugar fix, but as luck would have it, some armed punk with a hoodie stretched over his head burst into the store just as the cashier finished bagging up your purchase. Fantastic.

"All of you, get down! Hands behind your head!" he barked, wielding the gun in front of him with slightly shaking arms. He looked fairly young, perhaps only in his late teens, and was probably the desperate, down-on-his luck type. But he was determined to see this through, and that made him very dangerous.

You slowly sank to your knees along with the other patrons who'd been browsing the store, and one woman screamed. The hooligan brandished the barrel of his gun toward her, and she began sobbing as she obediently dropped to the floor. Then he approached the register, where the ashen-faced clerk backed up a few paces.

"You. Empty it out and give me all of the cash," the boy demanded, "Don't try anything funny, got it? No one has to get hurt!"

The cashier nodded, and hurriedly began removing stacks of money from the register and thrusting them across the counter. You twisted your mouth into a grimace, wishing you had a way to intervene that didn't involve potentially getting shot in the chest. You assumed that the clerk had already tripped the silent alarm, although now several minutes had passed and still no cop car sirens wailed in the distance.

When the door slammed open a second time, you were expecting to see a pair of disgruntled police officers who'd finally rushed to the scene. Instead, a familiar well-armored form stomped into the store, and your eyes shot wide open. Several people gasped and the cashier ducked behind the counter while cowering in fear.

The city's Dark Prince paid him no heed, and instead marched straight up to the perpetrator before seizing his sweatshirt and lifting him off the ground a few inches. He seemed to have more or less fully recovered from the incident a few weeks back, much to your relief, and the thug thrashed uselessly in his grip.

"Yo! Let me go already, asshole!" he yelped, but Raph merely barked out a loud laugh.

"Maybe I will, once I've taught ya a little lesson in humility!" His voice lowered into a deep, gravelly growl, and he roughly shoved him back against the counter. The boy fumbled for his gun, but Raph forcefully knocked it out of his hand and kicked it away. "First, ya don't walk into a place holdin' up a gun against innocent people and expect to get away with it."

"Arrgh!" the robber shouted, attempting to sink his fist into Raph's plated costume, but the latter intercepted it with ease before twisting his wrist backward, just enough to cause extreme discomfort, but not actually sprain it.

"Second," he rumbled above the criminal's yelps of pain, "Ya find a better use of your time than stealin' other people's money to buy yourself more booze or drugs or whatever the hell you're doin' this for, ya piece of crap." He lashed the boy's hands behind his back with a steel chain, and then grabbed the fistfuls of money that he'd been stuffing into his sweatshirt before placing them back upon the counter.

"No!" The thief gasped while struggling against his bindings. The clerk was still hiding behind the register, apparently equally as terrified of the Nightwatcher as he'd been of the mugger. "Bastard! What the hell d'you think you're doing?!"

"Third," Raph began while interrupting him, though he stopped when he happened to revolve his head slightly and spotted you in his peripherals. He did an immediate double-take, and you waved sheepishly from your position upon the floor. But he quickly recovered from his shock and turned back to the boy. "Uh, _third_ , ya learn when the hell ya shouldn't bother tryin' to weasel your way outta a nasty situation _you_ got yourself into. Get it together, punk!"

He finished securing the thief and dumped him unceremoniously against the counter, where he groaned and slumped to the floor. Raph leaned over the counter and glanced down at the petrified cashier.

"You all right down there?" he said gruffly, "Cops're on their way. All the money's back on the counter."

"Ah...ahhh...! Okay! Please just don't hurt me!" the man yelped, continuing to cower with his hands thrust over his head. Raph made an exasperated sound in his throat before pulling back and rolling his shoulders.

"When are ya people gonna learn that I'm not here to _hurt_ ya, but to _help_ ya?" he grumbled. Then his helmet turned toward you again, and he jerked his head toward the door before striding out of the building. You picked up your plastic bag and followed suit, trying not to make it obvious that you were actually acquainted with the infamous Nightwatcher, and noticed flashing police lights in the distance before ducking into a nearby alleyway.

"Good thing you showed up. They sure took their sweet time." You raised both eyebrows and leaned against the crumbling brick wall of the adjacent building with your arms folded over your chest. Raph stood several feet away, safely out of sight from any passerby, and you noted that he was a couple of inches taller than you now that he was drawn up to his full height.

"Yeah," he grunted, imitating you a moment later with his own arms. "You okay? He didn't lay a finger on ya, did he?"

"Nope, I'm completely unharmed, maybe thanks to you. Nice to see you again, by the way." You winked. "How'd you know that we were in trouble?"

"Police radio. Dispatchers put the call out over the line, but cops don't always respond as fast as they should," he scoffed. You nodded, and then suddenly noticed something gleaming in the moonlight a few feet away from him.

"What's that? Is that yours?" You pushed off from the wall and craned your head to get a better look. He inclined his head.

"Yeah. That's my bike," he answered, a hint of pride creeping into his voice. And for good reason, you realized, when you admired the sleek, metallic gray motorcycle that was obviously well-cared for. He must cherish it a lot.

"Nice ride," you grinned, and you could almost imagine him smirking, even though you'd never seen his face. "So what's your plan for the rest of the night? Gonna bust a few more heads?"

"Sounds good to me," he agreed. "How about it? Want a ride home first? I don't have an extra helmet, but you probably aren't too far from here if ya came on foot."

"Sure, if I'm not keeping you from your vigilante activities," you responded, a thrill of excitement rising in your chest. He shook his head and extended his arm out to you, and you accepted it after only a brief moment of hesitation.

"Nah, it'll only take a few minutes. This baby can accelerate like nobody's business, though I'll try to take it easy while I've got a pretty face ridin' in back." You blushed a little at the unexpected compliment, but he didn't seem to notice. He patted his handlebars before helping you on behind him, and you made sure that both your plastic bag and purse were secure before wrapping your arms around his waist. A second later the motorcycle roared to life, and you gasped as you sped off into the city.

He whooped with excitement when you careened between vehicles and soared past sidewalks and fire hydrants, clearly having the time of his life, and your hair whipped around your face as you zipped through street after street, dodging multiple late-night pedestrians who scarcely had time to react before you were already gone.

Your heart pounded in your chest while your adrenaline soared. You were absolutely exhilarated. You tightened your grip around him when you cut a particularly sharp right turn, and he revved the engine in response while turning his head a little, glancing at you over his shoulder.

"You good back there?" he called. You nodded breathlessly.

"Holy crap, this is awesome! I haven't ridden a motorcycle since college!"

"Damn right it is! Hang on, just another block to go!"

It occurred to you that he'd opted for a slightly longer route, perhaps because he didn't recall exactly how to get back to your apartment, or maybe he wanted an excuse to show off on his bike for a few extra minutes. You found yourself laughing in delight when he pulled a sudden wheelie, though you had to scrabble at him to ensure that you didn't tumble off, and he finally applied the brakes once you'd rounded the final corner.

Your apartment building was close by, and he cruised in a smooth arc until you'd come to a stop in another alleyway that was just out of sight.

"Whoa," you gasped as you reached up to flatten down your hair, "This kind of makes me want to get my motorcycle license..."

"Oh, yeah?" You could practically hear the grin in his voice. "Glad ya had fun. Let me know if ya wanna try drivin' her yourself sometime. She handles real smoothly."

"I bet she does." You gave the back wheel an appreciative pat. "I'd love to give it a shot sometime, Raph. Thanks for the lift home!"

"No problem." You both hefted yourselves off the bike and straightened up to face each other. "Watch yourself, all right? Try to limit the late-night visits to the store if ya can help it."

"Glad I went, actually. I got to see you again, didn't I?" You smiled at him, and his posture tensed slightly. You had the distinct impression that he was embarrassed, which was oddly cute considering that he was the city's bold, intrepid protector by night, and didn't seem the type to get easily flustered.

"Well, ya don't have to put yourself in _danger_ to see me," he muttered, still sounding fairly uncomfortable, "Maybe I'll stop by once in a while, see if you're home and pay ya a visit. Y'know, on a night things ain't so busy."

"Sounds great. I really like the sound of that. I'm glad we met."

"Uhh...me too." Now he was awkwardly scratching behind his helmet. "See ya around, ( _Name_ )."

"See you later, Raph. Stay safe, okay?" You gave him a light, playful punch in the shoulder before walking away, feeling more than a little re-energized now, although you doubted you would be able to fully focus on returning to your study materials. Talk about an evening full of close calls and thrills!

It looked like you'd found an ally and perhaps even a friend in the unlikeliest of places.

~*~*~*~

Raph showed up at your apartment again about a week later, true to his word. His unexpected knock upon your sliding glass doors took you by surprise, but it quickly morphed into a smile when you recognized the armored form waiting upon the other side of your veranda.

You thought that he had night patrols to take care of, but he ended up spending over two hours with you in your living room, where you passed the time shooting the breeze about whatever came to mind. You started out asking him about his work as the Nightwatcher, although he was understandably tight-lipped on several aspects of his full identity and personal life.

Nonetheless, he opened up readily enough about plenty of other things. You learned his musical preferences (somehow it didn't shock you that he was into hard rock and heavy metal), some of his favorite TV shows and places to grab a bite, and how he typically spent his free time, just to name a few.

He wouldn't tell you where he lived, but he did admit to having three brothers, one of whom was currently training abroad in South America. He seemed to hold some disdain for this particular brother, though you knew better than to push it and pry deeper into it. There was no mother in the picture, although his father raised him and his brothers with both strictness and compassion.

He practiced martial arts in his spare time. A lot of it, including kickboxing and tae kwon do. That didn't surprise you, either, especially given his self-imposed nighttime "profession" and what appeared to be a very strong, athletic physique. You didn't dare bring up what you'd seen beneath his armor during your first encounter, despite the fact that your powerful curiosity burgeoned with every minute you passed getting to know him better.

Still, you knew that it was a very touchy subject for him, and so you kept your mouth shut. If he felt ready to show you at some point, maybe he would choose to do so of his own volition.

He asked you questions, too. He wanted to know about your family and why you'd moved to New York. He asked about your job, and what you planned to do after you finished grad school. He wanted to know if you were going to stay here.

"Well, for the time being, yes. Moving's a lot of work, and I've moved all over the place throughout my life. It's nice to finally put some roots down, even for just a little while."

"Man, I don't even know if I _could_ leave New York at this point," he chuckled, shaking his head as he reclined comfortably upon your sofa, "I'm so used to hearin' the subway that I can't even sleep without listenin' to it anymore. Don't even know where I'd go, anyway."

"If you could hypothetically go anywhere, though, where would you want to go?" You drew your knees up against your chest and rested your chin upon them as you observed him curiously.

"I guess...I never really thought about it too much," he replied, "Maybe Japan. Maybe Brazil."

"Have you ever left the country before?" you inquired, and he shook his head.

"( _Name_ ), I've never even left New York." Your eyes widened.

"Wh-what? Seriously? Why not?"

"Kinda hard to explain that one." He looked away. "Hope ya don't mind if I don't feel like gettin' into it."

"Of course. But I hope that someday you do get a chance to travel. If I move back home at some point, you should come pay it a visit. I'd gladly show you around!" You smiled widely, and you heard him laugh quietly.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks." He paused. "Not gonna lie, though. Kinda hopin' you're gonna stick around these parts for a while." His voice was even quieter, and you were unexpectedly touched.

"That's the plan," you reassured him, smiling gently, "Besides, it's too late. If I left now, I'd already start missing you. I know this might be coming out of the left field, but you're the most interesting person I've met since moving here. I've had to leave friends behind in so many places before, and it's rough."

"Friends, huh?" He fiddled with one of his gloves in his lap. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Yeah. You're really cool, Raph. It turns out that the Nightwatcher's a pretty decent guy." You grinned and sent him a wink.

"Glad ya think so." He sounded a bit mortified again. "You're not so bad, yourself."

He had to leave shortly afterward, though, when he caught police chatter on the radio discussing a robbery taking place several blocks away, and you found that you were disappointed when he vanished into the night after bidding you a quick goodbye.

You were slowly unraveling the web of mysteries that surrounded him, and found that the more you discovered about him, the more you wanted to know. He was fascinating, much like an intricate puzzle whose overall characterization was still a mystery, yet you couldn't bring yourself to stay away as you gradually pieced him together.

Oddly enough, he appeared to feel the same way about you.

The next time you met, Raph stayed for even longer and you ordered Chinese take-out together. You showed him several episodes of Key and Peele and heard him roar with laughter for the first time. The sound of it gave you a warm, tingly feeling in your chest, and it was incredibly infectious. You desperately wished you could see his smile, too. You knew that you were keeping him from his nightly rounds whenever he stayed with you, yet each time he visited in the weeks that followed, he seemed increasingly reluctant to leave.

At one point you realized that you had yet to exchange phone numbers, and you did so while shaking your heads at yourselves. Soon he began announcing himself whenever he was going to stop by, which eventually changed from about once every week or two to several times a week. He slept a lot during the day thanks to how he spent his nights, but sometimes he would call you on nights that he couldn't visit in order to eagerly explain his latest nabbing of a crook anyway. Sometimes you would call him just to hear his familiar Brooklyn-accented voice or if you happened to be walking home alone after dark, since he put you at ease and you knew he'd never be far off if you needed him.

To put it simply, the two of you really hit it off. Way more than you ever anticipated.

Whenever he was mentioned in the news, you grinned to yourself with a surge of pride. It was your good friend who was helping keep this city safe, even if only from the shadows. He quickly became your closest local friend, in fact, although explaining this to everyone else in your life had proven to be very difficult, as you were actually quite limited in what you could say.

"Umm...his name's Raphael." He didn't have any social media and didn't come up in Google searches based upon the limited information you had about him. You weren’t about to share that fact.

"We're the same age. He has three brothers, and all of them were adopted by his dad."

"He rides a motorcycle and is super buff. No Mom, he's not a _felon_. Seriously? If he's got tattoos, I've never seen them." It was true!

"No, I don't know what school he went to. It's hard to explain what he does for a living." You still didn't know, honestly. It was tough to get a straight answer out of him when it came to his whereabouts during the day, as you imagined he couldn't possibly spend _all_ of that time sleeping. There were bills to pay!

"No, I've never met his family. Yes, I swear that he can be trusted."

You couldn't possibly admit that you'd never actually seen his face, so you had to masterfully dodge that question whenever someone wanted to know what he looked like. You likewise had to evade requests for photos of him, and you were sure that even despite your best efforts, some of your friends and family were feeling a little suspicious toward the mysterious guy in your life.

It wasn't until the next time you saw Raph that something else began to stir within you, and you began to wonder if the situation was transforming more rapidly than you'd thought.

By now you had known each other for a few months, and you still had yet to see his damned face. But you had long ago sworn not to bring it up, although as more and more time passed, you began to wonder if he would eventually loosen up his demand. You began contemplating it quietly, though you had yet to voice it to him, as you knew that he was still very uncomfortable with the notion of fully revealing himself to you and had an unfortunate temper when provoked.

You'd developed a few theories ever since the night you met, although nothing substantial. He only possessed three fingers on each hand, and if you weren't mistaken, his skin was _green_. Yet he was clearly humanoid, possessing limber arms and legs, not to mention a sarcastic, acerbic wit well-suited to any guy who was Brooklyn-born and raised. Honestly, you weren’t really sure what you were supposed to make of that.

Usually Raphael joined you at your apartment, where you could enjoy your privacy and uninterrupted time to simply enjoy each other's company. But tonight he'd invited you out on a bike ride around Manhattan, and who were you to turn him down? That was what led to you dressing the part, cloaking yourself in a scarlet rocker shirt, your favorite leather jacket, a pair of snappy-print leggings and black knee-high boots.

"Heyyy, Batman!" you teased once you met him outside your apartment complex, in the same alley he'd first dropped you off during your second encounter. You wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a friendly hug, albeit somewhat awkward due to the clunky nature of his armor, but he returned it tightly while looking you up and down.

"Lookin' good, princess." You'd grown comfortable enough over time to begin referring to each other with teasing nicknames in addition to mild displays of affection. He released you and reached behind his bike for a sleek black helmet that was fashioned in a similar style to his own. "Here, can't have ya ridin' without this."

"Thanks," you said with a grin, and jammed it over your head. "So, where to tonight?"

"You'll see. Just kick back and enjoy the sights," he responded, and you hopped on behind him. You bracketed your arms around his waist as he kicked the motorcycle to life, and soon you were zooming through the bustling streets of New York's night life as the city's countless skyscrapers glittered above you against the canvas of the night sky.

Raph had taken you on a few rides before, but this was the first time he guided you in this direction, as you completely stopped recognizing your surroundings before long. You lifted your head and drank in the scenery with a spark of curiosity, completely trusting him not to lead the two of you into a part of the city that was unsafe (though even if he did, hell - you had the frikkin' _Nightwatcher_ with you, which had to count for something).

After you'd cruised along for a good twenty minutes, you felt him begin to decelerate. Raph unexpectedly swerved off the main road, barreling through a narrow passageway to the right and cutting across another dimly-lit street, and soon you were coasting along the side of a large lake, much to your delight.

It took you a moment to realize that you were on the sheer opposite side of the Lake at Central Park, and you blew out a content sigh. It was absolutely spectacular at night, especially with the ephemeral glow of the moon reflecting off the water as it gently ebbed and flowed as far as the eye could see. Raph momentarily glanced at you over his shoulder, but said nothing.

Instead he directed you to an open patch of grass that wasn't choked with overgrown ferns or reeds against the shore, granting you a spectacular view of not only the lake and night sky, but the dazzling cityscape that occupied the horizon. The bike's engine sputtered until its steady rumble dwindled into a purr and went silent. Raph helped you off after you secured the kickstand for him, and you followed him down to the embankment with a sense of awe.

"Raph, it's gorgeous," you breathed, plopping down beside him and imitating him as you both plunked down on your backs with your eyes trained skyward. "Wow! Perfect night for this too, huh? Full moon and everything."

"Yeah. Worked out pretty well, huh?" He chuckled a little. "Thought ya might like it."

"I love it." You reached out to momentarily squeeze his forearm, though you weren't sure how much of it he could feel through his armor. "But are you sure this is okay? I feel like I'm always keeping you away from all the action in the city lately."

He was quiet for a moment, but then shook his head.

"It's fine. New York's gonna survive for just one night without me. Gotta give the cops somethin' to do once in a while, right?" He let out a short bark of laughter and you joined him with a few giggles of your own. "'Sides, I'd rather be here with ya. I mean, well, y'know. It's, uh, it's kinda nice."

Now he definitely was avoiding meeting your eyes, and instead stared up at the moon as its luminosity washed over him. You found yourself watching him for a good minute. Your fingers twitched a little from their position upon his arm, and after a very hesitant moment, you threaded your arm through his. It was a loose gesture, but very fond all the same, and you felt him give a start of surprise.

"( _Name_ )...?"

Now it was your turn to avoid looking at him, and although you wore a small smile, you could feel a rush of heat rising to your face. You suddenly understood just what was so fascinating about the moon, and locked your eyes onto it rather than face him. He hadn't jerked away yet, though, so at least there was that.

But your heart was gradually picking up speed in your chest as it thrummed against your ribs. Sure, you'd been asked the occasional playful quip about Raph by your family and friends. After all, you were the same age, both young and healthy, close friends...and, well, he was a guy. It was only to be expected that some of the people around you might assume that there was more to the situation than met the eye.

The thing was, there _wasn't_. You really were just friends, as you'd assured your nosy friends multiple times. For god's sake, you still had yet to even catch a glimpse of his actual face. You knew his voice like the back of your hand by now, sure, but you'd never once directly looked into his eyes.

You didn't even know what color they were. The thought hit you abruptly, and all at once you felt compelled to take the risk and ask. You were dying to know, and maybe he'd at least divulge it to you, even if he couldn't actually show you.

"Raph?" You spoke into the silence. He let out a quiet, "Mmm?" to let you know that you had his attention. "You know, I've always wondered. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but...what color are your eyes?"

He jolted again, obviously not having expected that question, of all things. You were very good about not prying into his appearance, and you were certain that was part of why he'd grown to trust you and feel so comfortable with you over time.

"You don't have to _show_ me," you hastily amended, "Just was wondering if you minded telling me." His shoulders sagged a little beside you and his arm was tense next to yours.

"Uh...sure. They're nothin' special," he mumbled, "Just sorta...brownish-yellow, I guess."

"Like amber?" you asked curiously, and he shrugged.

"I guess. Yeah." You absorbed this information as you tried to imagine what they must look like. "What brought that on all of a sudden, anyway?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to know, that's all. I really enjoy learning new things about you, Raph." You spoke earnestly, and he could hear it in your voice, though he didn't seem to know exactly how to respond to it.

"Ah." The discomfort was increasingly palpable in the air, and you frowned.

"Relax. I'm not gonna pry or ask you to do anything that I know you're not okay with."

"Yeah, I know." He huffed out a long, slow sigh. "Y'know, for what it's worth, it means a lot ya haven't pushed it all this time. I know it must seem pretty messed up that we've known each other for months now, but you've only ever seen me in this getup."

"Well, you don't want to show me. I'll never force you. It doesn't change the fact that you've become my best friend in New York." You pulled up a few blades of grass using your free hand.

"Thanks, ( _Name_ )." He took you by surprise when he squeezed your arm closer to his side, and neither of you said a word for the next forty-five minutes or so as you basked beneath the moonlight and each became lost in your own thoughts. But it was a more peaceful silence than you'd expected, and the soothing sound of the water lapping up against the embankment was starting to lull you to sleep.

Your head began to droop to the side until it thunked upon Raph's shoulder, and he immediately stiffened at the sudden contact. But he didn't try to shove you off, and you must have dozed off for a good half hour before you felt his hand on one of your shoulders, gently shaking you awake.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice lower and a little throatier than usual, perhaps a result of his efforts to keep his voice down, "It's gettin' late, ( _Name_ ). Wanna start headin' back?"

"Not really," you sleepily answered, turning to bury your face into the side of his arm, "I'm pretty comfortable right where we are, honestly."

He laughed, although if you weren't imagining things, you'd swear it suddenly sounded strained.

"C'mon. Ya know we can't stay here all night," he urged. You groaned and slowly nodded, opening your eyes against your will and attempting to stifle a deep yawn. "There's a good girl. Up we go, c'mon." He hoisted you up to your feet, and you stumbled forward a few paces as you regained your bearings, still feeling sluggish rather than alert.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Raph," you remembered to say as you were clambering back atop his motorcycle, "I had a really nice evening getting to relax with you. Sorry for falling asleep on you, though. I guess I got a little too comfortable."

"No problem," he answered. "I'd bring ya anytime ya asked, so don't be shy." Something was still somewhat odd about his voice, though you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, particularly in your drowsy state of mind. "You gonna be all right to hold on?"

"Yeah." You smiled and tightly encircled his torso with your arms, allowing your head to droop down onto his back as he revved up his motorcycle's engine. The trip back home was very quiet, and a faint tension hung in the air between you for some reason. But you were too tired to pay it much heed, and once you finally made it back to your apartment complex, it had grown very late.

"Night, ( _Name_ ). I'll call ya tomorrow," Raph said as he helped you remove the helmet from your head.

"Okay," you mumbled, wrapping your arms around him in a sleepy hug. "Get home safely, whether or not you run into any Purple Dragon jokers on the way home."

"Course I will. You've got nothin' to worry about, ya know that," he said with a slight scoff, though he briefly returned your embrace. "Do me a favor and get to bed. Ya look like you're about to keel over any second."

"Okay. Good night, Raph..." You smiled at him tiredly, taking a step away before pivoting on your heel and making your way toward the lobby of your apartment building. You could feel his gaze trained upon you as you left, and that particular evening you were simply too exhausted to recognize the night's odd developments for what they were.

He had never looked at you that way before. It was too bad you hadn’t noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part gets a little intense. :)


	3. Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RAPH YOU OWE SOME NICKELS TO THE SWEAR JAR
> 
> Note: _Text in italics_ after someone's name will be used to represent texting.
> 
> Btw, I headcanon that texting Casey about a girl you like would pretty much be exactly the same as texting an immature nine-year-old who just discovered that cooties exist.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who left comments and kudos so far! It seriously means the world to me!! <3

"Pssst. Donnie. Donnie!" Michelangelo stuck his head into his brother's work space, only to be thoroughly ignored. He pouted, and then raised his voice so that it was more of a whisper-shout. " _Donnie_!"

"What, Mikey?!" Donatello's head snapped to the side and he glared at him in exasperation. "I'm in the middle of my shift! Whatever happened to staying out of my office while I'm trying to work?"

"Well, nobody's on the tech support line right now, right? Besides, you should take your break, bro! I actually wanted to ask you about something." Mikey's pleading blue eyes went wide in an attempt to sway his sibling, although Donnie merely deadpanned in response. Finally, after a long moment he sighed and shook his head.

"Fine, _fine_. Here." He navigated to his employer's time tracking interface and elected to take a fifteen-minute break. "Happy now? What was so important that it couldn't wait until later?"

"Well, I guess it could've waited," Mikey began to say, though he quickly plowed onward before Donnie had a chance to glower at him, "But man, I just can't stop thinking about it! Haven't you noticed that there's something different about Raph lately?"

"What do you mean?" Donnie reached for a bag of popcorn perched upon the side of his desk and began popping kernels into his mouth.

"Well, y'know how he was acting kinda funny ever since Leo left? Sleeping all day, gone all night? He was always nothing but cranky, but lately...I dunno. He actually kinda seems to be in a good mood. _Raph_. Like...at least half the time I see him, dude."

"So what? Isn't that a good thing?" Donnie pointed out as he munched on his snack, "His bad attitude and temper were just dragging down the whole family. If something's making him happy, then it's a positive change."

"But duuuuude!" Mikey whined, "Don't you wanna know what's behind it? This morning he actually showed up for breakfast, and I'm pretty sure he was texting someone under the table."

"Hmmm." Donnie pondered this for a moment. "Probably just Casey. April did mention that the two of them hang out a lot in the evenings. Maybe that's where he's always going."

"I guess..." But Mikey didn't seem convinced. It was common knowledge that Casey Jones was a notorious over-sleeper, and it seemed extremely unlikely that Raph would be texting him at the breakfast table first thing in the morning with an uncharacteristic grin on his face. Maybe the youngest brother should sneak into Raph's room and check out his phone, though he knew he was going to be in for the beating of a lifetime if his older brother caught him.

Still, Mikey couldn't subdue his overpowering curiosity, especially as life in the lair was incredibly dull most of the time these days. Finally, he'd caught a whiff of something interesting, and he wasn't about to let it pass him by.

He bade Donnie farewell before making his way toward the stairs, nimbly vaulting his legs over the railing and skipping several steps so that he reached the pinnacle of the stairwell that much faster. He reminded himself to keep quiet with a few low snickers, and employed every ounce of his training to stealthily slip past Raph's tightly-shut door and into his room.

The red-masked ninja was completely dead to the world, complete with deep, even breaths and the occasional snore as he sprawled out across his bed. His T-phone rested upon the bureau beside him, in perfect view and oh so easy for the taking. Mikey snatched it up and swiped it open, his eyes eagerly scanning Raph's most recent messages to see just who it was he'd been conversing with earlier.

"Who's '( _Name_ )'?" he mouthed to himself, cocking his head in bewilderment as he spotted who was at the very top of the list. He was struck speechless at first as he read their exchanges, although a devious grin began to spread across his face while he skimmed through even more of their conversations. Raph was damn lucky that Donnie had set up an essentially limitless data plan for the family's phones, or else he'd probably have blown through their usage ages ago.

_(Name): It was incredible, like a beautiful, waking dream._

_Raph: heh. really glad you liked it. want to do it again sometime?_

_(Name): Definitely. Do you want to come over tonight? I've got a horror film that has you written all over it!_

_Raph: lol, oh we'll see about that. I'll be there around the usual time, ok?_

_(Name): Pizza, Chinese, or Indian?_

_Raph: let's do indian tonight. that place was really good._

_(Name): Agreed. Now go get some rest, isn't it technically past your bedtime right now? :P_

_Raph: ha, ha. yeah i guess. Worth it to talk to you though. i'll see you later tonight._

Mikey stifled a snort of glee. His brother had made plans with someone! Not only that, but it sounded like they did it regularly! Was _this_ where Raph had been disappearing to most nights? The exchanges seemed to scroll back for weeks, maybe even months. But before Mikey had time to review anything more in-depth, Raph rolled over on his bed and made a grunting sound in his sleep. Not willing to push his luck, Mikey hurriedly set the phone back down and crept back out of the room.

Oh, he couldn't _wait_ for the perfect moment to bring this up! And fortunately for the most lighthearted member of the family, such a moment came up later that evening when Raph attempted to sidle past them while Mikey, Donnie, and Master Splinter were splitting a pizza in the kitchen.

"Raphael? Where are you going, my son? You will not even stay for supper with your family?" Splinter asked calmly, although he had a natural gift for guilt-tripping with even the kindest of tones. Raph grimaced.

"Sorry, dad," he mumbled, scratching behind his head, "Uh...not too hungry right now. Gonna take the bike out for a spin around the city instead."

"I see." Splinter sipped at his tea, and Donnie sent his brother a sidelong glance. But now Mikey was grinning hugely from ear-to-ear, and dropped one of his hands onto his palm after propping his arm upon the table.

"Oh yeah? You sure you aren't going to take _(Name)_ out for a spin, too?"

"...!!" His face said it all. It was utterly priceless. Mikey had only ever viewed Raph this stunned a handful of times throughout his entire life, and it told him everything he needed to know. His eyes were wide, his jaw had unhinged though he merely mouthed wordlessly, and he was completely frozen to the spot.

"...Who's ( _Name_ )?" Donnie asked suspiciously, quirking a proverbial eyebrow.

"Yes, I would also like to know. What is Michelangelo talking about, Raphael?" Splinter added, slowly arching one brow.

"You...wha..." Raph began to splutter hoarsely, "What are ya talkin' about, numb nuts? I'm just—"

"Oh, c'mon! Don't even bother hiding it, bro!" Mikey bounded over to his side and wrapped a friendly arm around his brother's shoulders, though Raph quickly shoved him off as an enraged expression began to contort his face. "You're a really terrible liar, you know that? The cat's already outta the bag, so there's no point! Just spill the beans already!"

"H-how did you...?!" he began to ask furiously, and then it dawned upon him. "MIKEY! Did you steal my phone while I was asleep?!"

"Maaayyyybe," Mikey admitted sheepishly, "But I had a feeling, and I was right! So tell us! Who's ( _Name_ )? You guys seem pretty close!"

"I...well...she's..." Raph stammered out, feeling his sensei's sudden intense gaze flooding over him and quickly overpowering his temper. Donnie's eyes widened and Mikey leapt upon the golden opportunity with immense glee.

"Raph! Don't tell me you got a _girlfriend_!"

"Raphael! What is this he speaks of? Do you have a human acquaintance? Have you risked exposing our family?!" Splinter asked very sharply as he set down his cup of tea. Raph had turned very pale.

"No! Sensei, I swear it, she ain't gonna expose our family!" he protested. Mikey began making obnoxious smooching noises, his face practically aching from his grin. "She's-she's...MIKEY, goddammit, _stop that_! She ain't my girlfriend, for cryin' out loud!"

"Is she human?" Splinter repeated. "Kneel, Raphael, and answer me properly!"

"...Yes, sensei." Raph breathed out heavily before sinking to his knees and deferentially facing his adoptive father. "Yeah, she's human. But she's cool, and she hasn't told anybody about me. She's never gonna betray my trust. Promise."

"She knows what you are, yet still accepts you? Does this girl know where we live, that you have brothers?"

Raph gave a noticeable pause here, almost suspiciously so, and Splinter's eyes narrowed just slightly. But then his second-oldest son shook his head.

"No, sensei," he whispered. "I never told her where we live. She knows I've got brothers, though, but nothin' about them except their names and personalities. She...seems to accept me." He shifted extremely uncomfortably in his position upon the floor. Splinter didn't say anything at first. When he spoke again, his expression was unreadable.

"How long have you known her?"

Raph averted his eyes in shame, expecting the worst. "About six months."

"And in this time, I take it you've gotten to know each other well?"

"Yeah." Raph's voice was very quiet. "She's...a good friend of mine."

"I see." Splinter paused to stroke his wispy beard beneath his chin. "And you fully trust her? Speak truthfully, my son. Our family's safety depends upon it."

"Yeah. I really do trust her, dad. She's not the type to judge, and she doesn't pry if she knows I don't want to talk about somethin'. I know she's never told anyone about me."

"Hmmm." Splinter scrutinized his son for several long, incredibly uncomfortable moments, where Raph squirmed beneath his steady gaze. "I should like to meet her myself at some point."

He nearly choked.

"Is there a problem with that, Raphael? You said she is accepting, did you not?"

"Y-Yeah." Raph glanced off to the side, swallowing hard. "Uh...sure. I'll bring her down sometime." He had no choice but to make the promise, judging by Splinter's expectant stare, although that landed him in a new pickle entirely.

( _Name_ ) accepted him, sure, but as the Nightwatcher, something that no one in his family knew about. She still had no idea what he really was, so he couldn't exactly drag her down to the lair to introduce her to his equally unorthodox brothers and father. To make things even better, the real kicker here was that he couldn't explain _that_ to them without, in turn, revealing his nighttime vigilante escapades that helped him hide his identity from her in the first place.

Holy shell, he'd messed up. Damn it, Mikey!

"Very well. Raphael, I am trusting you. Do you understand?" Raph bowed his head. "Good. Do not make any rash or foolish decisions, my son."

"Understood, sensei," he mumbled in return. Once he was free to leave, he departed the lair and headed out into the night atop his motorcycle, although his head was swimming. What the hell should he do now? He couldn't tell her the truth. If he showed her what he looked like below that helmet, she'd run for the hills. Of course she would, and for good reason.

But that wasn't a risk he could take. He wasn't _willing_ to take it. She had become such an integral part of his life that imagining it without her forced his chest to tighten painfully and a harsh lump to form in his throat. He liked to think that he wasn't going soft. But the truth was, she had managed to earn his trust and worm her way into his life in a way no one ever had done before.

She didn't treat him differently, even though he'd never even allowed her to look him directly in his eyes and constantly donned a helmet around her. She clearly cared about him, as she'd spent countless evenings asking him a barrage of questions about himself, and he often felt like any other guy when they were together...as if he were simply normal, and they could hang out together like any two fully-human friends might.

She made him feel like he wasn't some damned _freak_ , for the first time in his life. Admittedly, as of late this fact had begun wreaking havoc upon his introspection, and more than once he found himself wondering what it would be like if their friendship took a different turn. But he immediately shut that notion down each time when he reminded himself that it could never possibly happen.

She liked him now because she had no idea what he was or how to imagine him. Once she saw his true form without his protective armor, he had zero guarantee that she would ever speak to him again. The thought was almost paralyzing and had prevented him from simply coming clean on multiple occasions. He wasn't stupid. Of course she was intensely curious to see what he looked like. Who could blame her?

But he wasn't sure if he could handle that form of rejection, and so the vicious cycle continued. His head dropped into his palm outside of her apartment building, and he found that he wasn't able to immediately make the climb to her fire escape. She knew him too well and she'd instantly sense that something was wrong.

He tried his best to act as normal as possible once he did finally knock upon her window, and for once was grateful that his helmet separated them because he didn't want to know what his face must look like right then. The two of them split a bowl of popcorn and ate their way through Indian takeout as they watched the film that ( _Name_ ) had selected, though Raph was distracted nearly the entire time.

She noticed. Of course she did.

But when she asked about it and he shook his head, she dropped it. She never pushed him whenever he felt uncomfortable, which he truly appreciated about her. But maybe another part of him selfishly wished she would actually keep going, for once _not_ respecting his boundaries, and give him an excuse to throw everything to the wind and finally come clean with her. It was such a heavy burden to carry upon his shoulders, and grew worse by the day.

But she didn't, and as a result nothing changed, except perhaps his rapidly-developing feelings for her that he desperately fought to keep at bay. This couldn't happen. It would _never_ work out, and he was setting himself up for disaster if things continued in this vein. He knew it. But still he couldn't bring himself to stop seeing her whenever he was finished patrolling the city, and so he dug himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

Several more weeks passed where he continued to find excuses to not bring her by the lair, though, and the others naturally asked him about her. The astonishing news that Raph had grown close to a human girl soon spread to April and Casey as well, and of course Case was now regularly giving him shit about ( _Name_ ). He tried to explain.

_Raph: she doesn't know, man._

_Casey: what do u mean?_

_Raph: she doesn't know who i really am_

_Casey: hows that possible, dude? lol! havent u guys been hanging out for like nearly a year by now?_

_Raph: yeah. but she doesnt KNOW, casey._

_Casey: know what???_

_Raph: what i really am. what i look like._

_Casey: no way, that makes no sense. wait!!! is this chick blind???_

_Raph: no. i've never taken off my helmet when i'm around her._

_Casey: uhhh okayyyy...and she doesnt think thats weird?? what about green skin, dude? kinda hard to hide that..._

_Raph: ive been wearing other stuff, too. she knows i ain't normal, but that's about it._

_Casey: jesus_

_Casey: u seriously haven't told her??? she doesn't know what u are???_

_Raph: that's what i've been SAYING_

_Casey: why dont u tell her? the longer u wait, u know the worse its gonna be when she finally finds out_

_Raph: yeah. i know. but shes gonna be gone the second she sees me. i can't let that happen. so i can't show her. :/_

_Casey: ....dude lol_

_Casey: U LIKE HER!!!!!_

_Casey: holy shit its so obvious!!!!!!_

_Raph: shut the hell up, I DO NOT. dammit casey!!_

_Casey: LMAO_

_Casey: omg gotta tell april about this. never thought id see the day_

_Raph: DON'T YOU DARE JONES_

_Casey: well u know u dont have a chance with her if shes never even seen ur face_

_Casey: u gotta tell her the truth, bro. its only fair_

Raph slammed his phone down with frustration instead of replying. Go figure that the one person he finally confided in about this ended up _laughing_ at him. But no matter how much he was loathe to admit it, Casey had a point.

Sure, things seemed fairly solid the way they were now. But there was no way that ( _Name_ ) could continue like this forever. They couldn't carry on the entirety of their friendship with a costume separating them, shielding his identity from her when honestly, a significant part of him was bursting at the seams to tell her everything. A part of him craved, and maybe even needed, her warmth and unconditional acceptance to extend to who he _really_ was.

Yet ironically, Raphael, the most courageous and daring member of the team, found that he was afraid. Too afraid to be candid with her, lest he risk losing everything. Too afraid that she'd take one look at his face and scream bloody murder, the one person from the world above the surface whose approval he realized he desperately yearned for.

Fuck.

But he couldn't keep putting it off. He couldn't keep making excuses to both his family and himself, or to her. He was juggling so many simultaneous secrets and it had to stop. Even if it resulted in losing her, he had no choice but to show her. She deserved to know, especially after she'd selflessly taken him in and helped him when they were complete strangers.

But every time he tried to imagine the outcome of such a situation, it went horribly sour in his mind. He had no real idea how to go about this, and already knew that he was in deep shit when he asked ( _Name_ ) to meet him atop her building's roof one evening.

This was enough of a deviation from their normal plans that he'd managed to confuse her, but she agreed all the same, and he was left to stew in his frustrating anxiety and nerves in the meantime while he waited for her to show up.

Casey wasn't wrong, as it turned out. All of this time of knowing the woman had taught Raphael otherwise, despite being in vehement denial for several months first. He _did_ have feelings for her, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself. They had developed gradually and unexpectedly, yet in retrospect the progression of it all was so damn clear.

But that only made things exponentially more complicated, as it raised the stakes even higher. If she walked, he wouldn't be losing just a friend, but also the first girl he'd ever fallen for. He moaned a little under his breath.

_Shit._

~*~*~*~

You met Raph on the rooftop, as promised, although you could sense that something was amiss. Gone was the usual snarky laughter or smug commentary from his voice. His posture was tense and his hands were fidgety.

"Hey, Raph," you said carefully, coming to a stop a few feet away from him.

"H-hey," he answered, swallowing thickly. "Uh...listen, ( _Name_ ). I need to talk to you about somethin'. It's important."

"Of course. What's going on?" You were concerned and made a move to grasp his arm. To your surprise, he quickly evaded your touch while shaking his head.

"My family found out about you," he blurted, "And...and they wanna meet ya."

"Oh! That's great, Raph! I would really love to meet your family! I've heard so much about them." You felt an excited thrill travel up your spine at the thought of him finally letting you in.

"No!" His outburst took you by surprise. "Listen, it's...it's not simple. Remember how I told ya I'm different? So are they. All of them. So...I can't take ya to meet them."

"What? But..." You trailed off, and your disappointment must have been written all over your face. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, ( _Name_ ). But I...well, there was also somethin' else I wanted to...to... _ahhhhhh_ , never mind." He finished with a loud groan, slapping a hand over his visor. "It's nothin'."

"Then what was the point of calling me up here tonight to meet you?" you asked while crossing your arms over your chest, feeling a little hurt despite yourself. Your voice sounded slightly chillier than usual.

He was quiet for several seconds, and then weakly shrugged his shoulders.

"Guess I shouldn't have bothered," he muttered. A very tense, awkward silence passed between you, and neither of you said anything for a good five minutes as you instead stared down at the passing traffic in the bustling streets below while you avoided each other's eyes. Then, you finally felt him turn toward you, and something in his voice had changed.

"Hey...( _Name_ )." It was huskier than usual, more gravelly.

"What?"

"Close your eyes. Keep 'em closed, no matter what. Please? I want to try somethin'." You blinked. You hadn't anticipated that, but figured there was no harm in it. You obediently allowed your eyes to flutter shut.

You heard a slight rustling sound and furrowed your brow. You stood still, not quite sure what to expect, though when nothing had happened for nearly half a minute, you began to feel a little nervous.

"Um, Raph?" you began.

"Just a bit longer." His voice was softer than usual, almost pleading, and for once it wasn't muffled by his helmet. You felt your heart begin to race in your chest, and although you would never break your promise to him, you had to squeeze your eyes shut more tightly to resist the urge to steal a quick peek.

"Raph—" But he interrupted you.

"Stay still. Please. Just like that," he murmured, suddenly sounding very close to you, and for the first time, you felt his breath waft across your face. It was pleasantly cool, and not a second later something feathered across your jawline.

You inhaled deeply when you recognized it as his hand, and then held your own breath as he slowly, almost hypnotically traced his fingers along the contours of your face. He had clearly removed his gloves, as you could feel his slightly rough skin upon your own for the first time. You focused upon the sensation of his hand exploring each plane, finally coming to rest upon your cheekbone where he gently cupped your face.

You lifted a trembling hand until placed it atop his, and felt him jerk a little in response. But he didn't tear his hand away, and you noted that his was larger than your own, recalling that he only had three fingers. Each appendage was much thicker than your own comparatively slender fingers, but oddly enough, there was something you liked about their calloused strength.

Still you didn't open your eyes. You didn't speak, either, instead choosing to bask in the revelation that for the first time, he had allowed himself to touch you directly. You felt a wavering smile begin to form.

Then Raph's breath washed over you again, and his other hand dropped to your waist, where it gripped the small of your back and pushed you flush against him. You blindly reached for his chest, intending to slide your hand along the cool metal of his armor until you reached his face. If you couldn't see it for yourself, perhaps he would still allow you to admire him through touch, and felt yourself lean in toward him.

He met you halfway, and you quite literally never saw it coming.

He crushed you close to him and kissed you passionately on the lips. His mouth was wider than your own, and his lips slightly harder, yet you had never before been rendered so instantaneously weak in the knees in your entire life. His hand tightened upon your lower back and he tilted your head up as the other slipped below your chin, giving him a better angle to deepen the kiss. It felt so damn good.

You reacted on pure instinct more than anything else. You threw your arms around his neck and fiercely kissed him back, your breath quickening as his fingers threaded through your hair. The low, rumbling growl deep in his chest was definitely one of approval, and it made your toes curl as he tugged you still closer to him. Each kiss came faster and harder than the last, and before long he had thrust his tongue past your lips to ravenously explore. You met him with equal enthusiasm as you began fighting for dominance.

He tasted faintly of tangy soda and something else you couldn't quite place, and then things got a little heated when his hand at your waist glided down your thigh until he hooked it below your knee and yanked it up past his midriff.

You responded by leaping onto him and curling your other leg around him as well, forcing him to catch you with both hands supporting each thigh and hold you upright. You kept both arms tightly wrapped around his strong neck as you continued to fervently make out, and he staggered backward a few paces to maintain his balance while he hungrily returned it.

You only tore away long enough to attach yourself to his neck, and licked a long, wet line up the sensitive skin, tracing a pulsating vein with your tongue and delighting in the way he instantly jolted with pleasured surprise.

"Babe, wha...what're ya doin'?" he managed to say, his voice dissolving into a long, deep moan as his knees actually buckled a little. You began to nibble upon his neck next, and were met with another deep groan as you aggressively sucked upon the same spot that you'd nipped, determined to give him a hickey the likes of which he'd never had before.

He growled again before sliding his hand to your ass and giving it a strong, appreciative squeeze, and you squeaked against his neck. You felt his broad smirk pressed against the side of your face, and before long he redirected your mouth to his again. He kissed you again, and again, and again, as months of pent-up feelings exploded between you and you completely lost yourselves in your own little world, where nothing could separate or come between you.

You were only interrupted when his radio began to give off static and then erupted with a frantic report over the line of a shooting taking place several blocks away. Raph exhaled slowly and heavily into your mouth, though he continued to press lingering, soft little kisses to your lips, even as the police chatter escalated.

"Do you have to go?" you breathed against his mouth, "No, of course you do...I'm sorry."

"I don't want to," he murmured, his voice throatier than you'd ever heard it, and his hand tangled itself into your hair while he affectionately wound a lock around one of his fingers. You shivered from his gentle touch, an electrifying tingle running down your spine. "But you're right...I've gotta get goin'."

Neither of you moved for several moments, however, despite his words hanging in the air. Finally, you dared to ask something you never thought you'd be able to articulate.

"Can I finally open my eyes now, Raphael?" He knew what you meant, and froze where he stood. Despite your soft, imploring voice, he wrenched himself free from your arms, when only seconds before he'd been sighing blissfully while you caressed the side of his face. You felt as stung as if he'd slapped you, even more so when his footsteps hurriedly pounded across the concrete and vanished into the night.

Somehow you knew before you even looked that he would already be gone, and you were right. Your heart ached horribly when you opened your eyes and were greeted with an empty rooftop. You weren’t surprised, but rather devastated. Burning tears began to prick at your eyes. Even after sharing something so intimate together, he still refused to show you his face. How could he do something like this? How _could_ he? How could he kiss you like that, as if you were the only woman in his world and the love of his life, and then run away as soon as you asked him to fully trust you?

"GODDAMMIT." You screamed and dropped to the ground, shoving your face into your hands as your shoulders shook uncontrollably. Soon you were sobbing, and you didn't care. You had been so patient with him for all these months, never pushing him, always respecting his boundaries, and for _what_? You were falling in love with a man whose face you'd never even glimpsed, like the damn fool that you were, and now he was pushing you away. Of course he was. You should've seen that coming a mile away. You'd blown it, and so had he. Maybe he'd never even want to talk to you again after what happened tonight, and you were torn between feeling furious and miserable.

It wasn't like you could have a relationship like this, with all of the secrets and constantly hiding his true self from you. He flat-out told you he couldn't introduce you to his family, even though supposedly they wanted to meet you, and that hurt like a bitch, too. He wouldn't let you in, not completely. You never should have allowed it to go this far, you realized. You were just setting yourself up for heartbreak if you kept this up. As it was, you were already far too attached to him, but you couldn't let it continue.

You scrubbed at your eyes and forcibly tried to get a better hold of yourself. You were stronger than this. You had to get your shit together. You _deserved_ better than this. You wouldn't allow him to treat you this way.

But deep down, you already knew that it wouldn't be so easy to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW ABOUT THEM REPRESSED HORMONES, EH? SORRY, I WARNED YOU GUYS IT WOULD GET A BIT INTENSE/DRAMATIC. RAPH HAD TO KNOW THIS WASN'T GOING TO END WELL???
> 
> Someone please tell me why I seem incapable of writing a story without some modicum of angst involved...? Oh well, I never said it was all going to be smooth sailing! I promise it will all get resolved before the end, though. :)


	4. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE. So I know it's been an inexcusable amount of time since I last updated this story. D: I am so, so sorry! The past several months have seen me getting married, landing a new job, and buying my first house, but there's no beating around the bush - the _real_ reason this chapter is so late is because writer's block simply hit me like a 500-ton truck. No matter what I've done since then, I haven't been able to fine-tune this chapter to get it where I wanted it. It couldn't be more frustrating. But by this point, it's been so long that I figure any update is better than none. 
> 
> That being said, the outpouring of support and wonderful comments I've received for this fic has been LIFE for me. <3 Seriously, I can't thank you guys enough! Your kindness has brought me so many smiles over the past few months. There will still be one more chapter after this one, an epilogue of sorts, which will include some cute fluff and whatever comes to mind. For better or worse, I'm just going to bite the bullet and post this chapter as-is!
> 
>  
> 
> _Now please excuse me while I go hide in shame_

Over the next several weeks that followed, Raph didn't call or text you once. You weren’t the type to robo-call or spam someone's phone with messages in the first place, though it hurt like hell every time you reached his voicemail and all of your texts went completely ignored.

But you took the hint anyway and stopped reaching out to him, even though it felt like someone had brutally punched you in the gut. This was far worse than a romantic tryst gone wrong; it was as though you’d lost your best friend.

You wondered what must be going through his mind. Just trying to imagine it was maddening. After everything you’d been through together, was your friendship truly that expendable to him? Or was he just a coward, too afraid to admit to your face that he’d made a mistake and took things too far? You even found yourself inventing excuses for him at first, perhaps out of a vain, subconscious hope that it was only a matter of time before he showed up at your door to apologize and make things right.

But as days turned into weeks, you were forced to confront the ugly truth.

He wasn’t going to apologize or explain himself. He was going to continue ghosting you as if you were the one who had instigated all of this, and not even offer you the decency of closure.

You didn’t know what was worse—the prickling anger and frustration, or how he’d reduced you to feeling miserable once you stripped away the resentment. It wasn’t until he was no longer in your life that you fully recognized the impact he’d had, and now you feared that it might be too late.

The nightly visits stopped, too, of course. You tried to busy yourself at first by Facetiming with your friends back home and even attended a few local Meetup groups, anything to get you outside and away from the apartment that was so heavily saturated with memories of the man whom you were desperately trying to push out of your thoughts. After all, you couldn't keep sitting around and moping your life away. You refused to let Raphael have that kind of power over you.

Tonight you were on your way back from a relatively enjoyable dinner with some of your new local friends. You’d convinced them to let you walk home alone as you’d chosen to meet up at a restaurant fairly close to your apartment complex, and you wanted some peace and quiet to enjoy the night. You strolled along with your hands in your pockets, quickly growing lost in thought and probably less aware of your surroundings than you should have been.

It wasn’t until a few minutes had passed that a crawling sensation prickled your skin, and a growing unease began to unravel your sense of calm. It was an instinctive sort of fear, really. Something innate, something that a more visceral and primal part of you could sense.

You were being watched.

You felt a cold bead of sweat gather upon the back of your neck. A quick glance through your peripherals confirmed everything you needed to know. Even though he couldn’t be much older than you were, the man’s skin was sallow and riddled with pockmarks and scabs. You suspected that a meth addiction might be responsible for aging him far beyond his years. His once-sleek blond hair was now scraggly and dull, an unkempt rat’s nest that fell to his shoulders. His clothes were dingy and mottled with holes, as were his shoes, his appearance reflecting as much of a disarray as his life itself.

A smarmy grin spread across his face and he veered toward you from the other side of the street. Clearly the drug addict liked what he saw, because he was already making a beeline across the pavement while whistling at you, the sound jarring in the brisk night air. You tensed and wasted no time in lengthening your strides to put some distance between you. Any other time you would have immediately dialed Raph, but right now you didn’t even know if he’d bother reading anything you sent him.

“’Eyyy!” the tweaker hooted, nearly tripping over the curb as he attempted to give chase, “Where ya goin’, beautiful? Ain’t got no time for me?”

You grimaced but didn’t respond, now power-walking with such a rigid posture that it was clear you would break into a run the second he made you feel like it was necessary.

“Bitch!” he snarled, suddenly turning hostile now that his advances weren’t having the desired effect, “Get back here, you filthy whore!”

“Stay the hell away from me, you strung-out creep!” you retorted, heart thundering in your chest as you fumbled to reach for the small canister of pepper spray that you kept in your purse. The man was furious now, his ego bruised, and broke into an ungainly but determined jog after you.

You forced yourself to keep steady, even as your pulse roared in your ears. You weren’t panicking yet, but you had to think fast. Forget the pepper spray, a direct altercation probably wasn’t the best idea. Maybe you could take a different route to lose him entirely. You knew the surrounding area quite well, but you didn’t want to lead the man straight to your apartment complex either. With that thought in mind, you cut a sharp turn down the next alley that you passed and hurried through the heaps of trash and debris littering the damp ground.

The sound of disjointed footsteps soon echoed behind you. Damn it. You didn’t know if this idiot was armed, but you had to assume that he was and act accordingly.

Then he broke out into a full-on sprint, and you scarcely had time to react in surprise.

"What the—?" you gasped while scrambling into a desperate sprint of your own, though he was a lot quicker on his feet than expected. He got close enough to close his grimy fingers around a lock of your hair, and you yelped in pain as he forcefully dragged you back toward him. "Oh, you let go of me _right_ now—DON'T YOU TOUCH ME, ASSHOLE!"

You struggled as violently as possible. You thrashed in his grip, jammed the heel of your boot into his kneecap, grappled with him for control, attempted to thrust your fingers into his eyes, and even sank your teeth into his forearm when the opportunity presented itself. But no matter how much you resisted, the simple fact of the matter remained: you just weren’t physically strong enough to fight him off. Bile rose in your throat as the man leered at you with disgusting yellow teeth and bloodshot eyes.

"You're real pretty," he rasped, tightening his grasp in your hair painfully, nearly tugging it out by the roots. "What's the rush, sweetheart? Why don't you spend some time with Daddy tonight?"

Okay, _ew._

"Go screw yourself!" you snarled, bringing your knee up to smash him in the crotch as hard as you possibly could in a desperate effort to break free. He roared in pain and released you, staggering backward a few steps while buckling over, but recovered faster than you thought he would and swung his head up almost instantly. Now rage was boiling in his eyes, and he clumsily fumbled in his pocket until he found a switchblade.

"Nah, for that little stunt, you filthy bitch, I'm gonna make sure that you're the one who gets—" he began to growl, but before he could finish his sentence, he went crashing against the brick wall. You gasped and flew backward a few paces when you realized that someone had just dropped down from the rooftops just above you, and for a heart-stopping moment you wondered if it was a certain armor-clad vigilante.

But then the passing headlights of a car illuminated something else entirely, and you were rooted to the spot with amazement. A tall, muscular figure stood in the shadows, though something was starkly different about him. Sharp brown eyes were covered with a deep blue mask, and a firm scowl was set upon his face as he glowered at your assailant. His chest was covered with something ridged and tan-colored, and behind his back--what was that? A...carapace? A large _shell_? A pair of slender swords was also sheathed behind it, much to your disbelief.

Then you took another look, and your breath caught in your throat. Green skin. He had only three fingers on each hand, two toes on each foot. It couldn't be.

"Now that's no way to talk to a lady, is it?" His voice was a smooth, deep timbre, but unfamiliar. You stared at him with slowly-dawning comprehension.

“W-w-who are you?!” the creep shouted, sensing that something was amiss even despite the glazed eyes that his poor life choices had allotted him. Fear permeated his every pore as the figure straightened up before him, a daunting sentinel in the darkness.

"Get out of here. Right now, before I personally see to it that you go dumpster diving like the trash that you are." The newcomer’s tone remained deadly calm, but promised that your attacker would go home on (possibly permanent) crutches depending upon his next move.

Apparently he wasn’t going to take any chances. The man whimpered in terror, and then started screaming before he stumbled away and fled from the alley without so much as a backward glance. His panicked shrieks followed him in the distance, gradually growing fainter until you finally felt confident that you were safe. Well, that certainly hadn’t gone the way you expected.

You exhaled severely at the close call, and wearily pinched the bridge of your nose between two fingers before turning to your rescuer.

"Thank you so much. I really need to make it a point to start carrying around one of those self-protection key chains instead of this pansy little can of pepper spray."

"You're welcome." The stranger hesitated for a moment, and then his eyes flickered to yours. "...You aren't afraid of me." It was a statement, not a question.

"No way. You just saved my life! The only one I was afraid of here was that awful excuse for a human being that you just scared off."

"Fair enough." He smiled faintly before taking a few steps toward you so that he could get a better look at you. For several long moments, you stared at each other in unbridled fascination, until you voiced a question that had been forming ever since you laid eyes upon him.

"Is your name Leonardo?"

His smile instantly slipped off his face, and instead he stared at you with wide eyes, an open mouth, and pure astonishment. Bingo.

"How could you possibly know that?" he asked, suddenly sounding very suspicious as he tensed up, already on his guard. You splayed your hands in front of you and shook your head.

"Wait! I suppose you could say it's a lucky guess, but I had a little help," you admitted, "You've got a few physical traits I've seen somewhere before. I've heard a lot about you, Leo. From..." You swallowed heavily. "From Raph."

"From _Raph_ ," he repeated, his voice deadpanning.

"Yes. He's your brother, isn't he?" you asked quietly. "He told me that each of his brothers has an affinity for a different color. Leonardo's is blue. Though if I'm not mistaken, I thought you were supposed to be abroad training in another country right now."

"I just got back from South America. Wait. Wait a minute." Leo began pacing back and forth with his arms crossed over his chest. " _You_ know Raph? How is this possible? Has he put our entire family in danger? Have you met anyone else?" His barrage of questions came quickly, proving your assumption to be completely correct, and you shook your head.

"No. You're the first one." Your voice cracked a little with unhappiness, and Leo stopped and turned to glance at you. "Raph won't let me meet his family. If I hadn't run into you tonight by pure chance, I probably never would have been able to meet you."

"I see." Leo rubbed his temple pensively. “Do you mind telling me how you even know him in the first place? My apologies for all of these questions, miss. It’s just that you have to understand. Us being what we are, we have to look out for our own. We can't be exposed to the public."

"It's ( _Name_ ), first of all. I'm sorry for not introducing myself sooner," you apologized, "And it's okay. You can ask whatever you need to. I do understand. But do you mind answering just one thing for me, first? You see, Raph never told me exactly...what you guys are."

"You mean he never explained...? But weren't you curious about it?" Leo asked, cocking his head a little as his powerful eyes bore into yours. He seemed completely bewildered by the fact that this was new to you.

"Yes, of course. He never once answered me or showed me. So eventually I stopped asking. But you see, he's never come near me without covering himself completely in a costume of sorts."

You felt deeply uncomfortable admitting it, and if possible, Leonardo looked even more perplexed by this revelation.

"A _costume_?" he repeated, and you nodded. "Wait...are you saying you've never actually seen Raph before, like this?" He gestured to himself, and you nodded again, feeling increasingly numb. He furrowed his brow.

"Yeah. No matter what I do, I can't get him to show me his face past this special helmet he wears. We still became really close friends despite it, but...well, it's kind of driven a wedge between us lately. We had a falling out a couple of weeks ago." Your eyes dropped while your heart thudded painfully in your chest. Leonardo noticed your discomfort and after a moment of hesitation, placed his hand upon your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"I'm sorry, ( _Name_ ). I'm sure that if you two were close, then you must know all about how hotheaded and stubborn he can be. He'll come around." Then he paused. "But there's still so much I don't know here. I don't understand how Raph can have a human friend who doesn't know what we are. You know...mutant turtles."

Oh.

You numbly let that one sink in for a few moments, mouthing silently at him as it processed through your brain. _Turtles._ They were mutant turtles, fully-grown and residing in New York just like anybody else. Apparently, that was a thing? Well, _that_ certainly explained a lot, including the shells and green skin and need to conceal themselves. But rather than feeling staggered by the revelation, it was like a massive wave of relief had suddenly washed over you. You broke out into a wide smile. It was almost comical, really. This was what Raph had been hiding from you all this time?

Granted, it was the furthest possible thing from _normal_ , but looking at Leo right now, he was very humanoid. You could already tell that just as it hadn't stopped you from befriending Raph, it wouldn't prevent you from doing the same with Leo. He really was just a damned stubborn jerk who must think that you'll run for the hills as soon as you find out what he really is.

You proceeded to explain to Leo how you'd met Raph, though you left out the specifics of him being the Nightwatcher, as this seemed to be something that he wanted to keep secret from everyone except for you, including his family. Oh, and you also conveniently left out the fact that you'd made out like a pair of hormone-driven teenagers the last time you'd seen each other, as that wasn't something you wanted Leo to go home and grill Raph about, either.

"I know about April and Casey, but I actually haven't met them yet," you added, referring to the turtles' only other human friends who were aware of their existence and kept their secret. "Probably because Raph was worried that one of them would tell me the truth. He's kept me from all of you. He'd probably be furious if he found out I was talking to you right now, but honestly, it feels so good to finally get some closure on all this. Now I know why he was acting the way he was."

You knew you were rambling, but Leo seemed to understand. By now you were sitting side by side while leaning against the ledge of the adjacent rooftop, and together you’d already passed a good half hour discussing your unlikely relationship with his younger brother. It was impressive how quickly you'd grown to feel comfortable with each other, but you couldn't be more grateful. You hadn't realized just how badly you'd needed to talk to someone about this, and ironically Leo was one of the only ones you _could_ safely discuss it with.

"Hey. Listen to me. It's going to be okay." He wrapped a friendly arm around your shoulders. "After this I need to head home for a family reunion, and I'll see if I can't talk some sense into Raph. If my father’s already expressed interest in meeting you, then there's no reason why you can't come meet our family."

"I just want my best friend back," you mumbled, feeling like a fool, but at the same time oddly safe as you leaned into Leo's shoulder. He used his large thumb to rub reassuring circles into your arm.

"That idiot," he grumbled, "I'm sorry he's put you through all this, ( _Name_ ). He never was very good at taking orders or dealing with delicate situations. I'm sure I'll have my hands full with getting the team back into shape, and he's going to be at the top of the list."

"Well, despite the fact that I've been sitting here blubbering at you like a fool, I want you to prioritize doing whatever you need to do for your family's sake, Leonardo. Not for mine. I'm still an outsider." Raph made that much abundantly clear, you thought with a hint of bitterness.

"For what it's worth, it sounds like whatever happened between you two has affected Raph, too. So resolving it is in everyone's best interest," Leo pointed out wisely, and you bobbed your head. "Besides, if you managed to get _Raph_ to like you, then you must be honorable. You probably don't know this, but he's notorious for being the most skeptical member of our team. He's very slow to warm up to someone new."

"Oh yeah?" You smiled to yourself a little, for the first time in what felt like days. Leo brightened when he noticed it and reached up to give your hair a gentle ruffle.

"C'mon. I'll walk you home. Take it easy for the rest of the night, all right? I'm sure you'll hear from my brother soon, and I'll let you know when it's acceptable for you to come visit the lair." You swapped phone numbers and then true to his word, he escorted you back to your apartment like a perfect gentleman. You already really liked Leo despite only knowing him for such a short time, and you wondered if you would feel the same way about the rest of his family.

"Leo, thank you for everything. Running into you tonight was the perfect quirk of fate." You exchanged small grins. “Also, I know that this is going to sound strange coming from someone who wasn't there to say goodbye, but all the same...welcome home."

His smile widened.

"Thanks, ( _Name_ ). It feels good to be home. See you soon."

You watched him disappear into the city skyline with your hand raised in a wave. Then you retreated to your apartment with a multitude of mixed feelings coursing through your head. There was so much happening all at once, and it seemed that in many ways, Leo's return to the States was going to set off a myriad of positive changes.

Of course, you knew better than anyone that no one could force Raph to do something he didn't want to. If he was done with you, or simply refused to be completely honest with you even when you now knew exactly what he was, then it couldn't be helped. Damn, if he wasn't such a stubborn jackass sometimes!

~*~*~*~

Leonardo's homecoming was met with ecstatic shouts from Mikey, deep relief from Donnie, and pure joy from Master Splinter. Raph was considerably more lukewarm compared to the others, offering Leo only a few clipped words to welcome him home. Clear awkwardness hung in the air between them. Their long-standing rivalry was still a stark recollection for them both, but as the red-masked turtle began to walk away to retreat to his room again, Leo shook his head to himself.

He had an inkling of how he might get his brother's attention.

"I'd like to apologize. I'm actually home tonight slightly later than I intended. I intervened and saved someone's life a couple of hours ago...a human girl," he announced loudly, trying to stave off the smirk that threatened to take over his lips. Mikey's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and Donnie's brow knit together in befuddlement.

"Don't tell me..." he began to say.

"My son, did you reveal yourself to this girl?" Splinter asked sternly. Raph was still striding away, although Leo noticed that his pace had slowed down, albeit just a titch.

"Yes, I did. You see, she wasn't afraid of me. She didn't scream, cry, or faint. She was grateful that I'd helped her. We hit it off very well."

"Well, ain't that nice for _you_?" Raph scoffed from several feet away, almost too irascibly, as if Leo had managed to get under his skin with the mere implication of his words.

"Yes, it is. We've already become friends, in fact. There was something else about her, though, that I thought you guys might find as interesting as I did. She knew who I was."

"What?" Donnie gasped. "How is that possible?"

"Whoa, dude! Is this chick like a Jedi, or something?!" Mikey demanded with excitement. Splinter's eyes had narrowed expectantly at his oldest son as he waited for him to continue, already sensing that there was a purpose behind Leo's words.

"She said her name is ( _Name_ )." He trained his eyes directly upon Raph this time, not bothering to hide behind any pretense. Instantly both of his brothers' gazes snapped toward the retreating hothead, who had completely frozen in place. Splinter blew out an audible sigh and nodded his head.

"I see. What a fantastic twist of fate, Leonardo. As it seems you're already aware, we have been eager to meet this young lady for several weeks now."

"You..." Raph's voice was hoarse, and he nearly choked upon the words. He still hadn't turned around to properly face Leo. "Ya met ( _Name_ )?"

"Yes. She knows who I am, Raph. She figured it all out without me even having to tell her, in fact. Do you understand what I'm getting at? She now knows who _you_ are, as well."

Now Donnie and Mikey were confused, and glanced back and forth between them as this didn't seem to jibe with what they already knew about the situation.

"But dude, Raph's been tight with that chick for like, a year!" Mikey pointed out, scratching his head, "How could she not know who he is already? That makes no sense, bro!"

"He's kept a few things from her. Haven't you, Raphael?"

"Shut up, Leo." Raph's voice was very dangerous, although the team's leader wasn't daunted.

"She wants to see you."

"Shut up!" Raph repeated, raising his voice this time as his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

"You can't keep ignoring her, Raph! I don't know what happened between you two, but it's--"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS." Raph's voice rose into a roar, and he spun around with a livid expression on his face. "Damn right ya don't know what happened! You've been gone two years and don't know the first thing about your own family anymore! Stay the hell outta this, Leonardo!"

"Raphael! Compose yourself at once!" Splinter ordered, his voice thundering over even his most belligerent son's. Raph's head shot toward his father, with his nostrils flared, his teeth gritted, and hands still packed into tight fists. But with some effort, he very slowly loosened them and tried to focus upon breathing more evenly.

"Whoa. This is crazy," Mikey whispered loudly, and Donnie rolled his eyes, though he was still darting back and forth between his two eldest brothers with a hint of anxiety. Leo had barely been home for twenty minutes, and already the old rivalry was set to resume. Explosively, at that.

"I'm not going to fight with you on this, Raph. You're my brother," Leo said sharply, "All I'm going to say is that she misses you. She thinks of you as her best friend. One way or another, you're going to have to give her some closure on this, whether you work it out or end things with her. We were raised as ninja, and that means we have honor."

Raph glowered at him before he vanished down the nearest hallway, most likely headed for his garage where he worked on fine-tuning his bike. Leo shook his head and heaved a sigh as he watched him go.

"Trust me. Until he works this out, he's going to be way too insufferable and stubborn to be an effective link in this team."

"How is that any different from how he is normally?" Donnie sarcastically pointed out while shaking his own head. Mikey let out a snort of laughter.

"Burn, dude!"

"My sons, please help your brother. We all know that he will never admit he is suffering or that he needs help, but it is more than a little obvious that he needs your support right now. Be patient with him." Splinter frowned as he glanced after Raphael with concern.

"Yes, sensei." Leo inclined his head, although he knew that helping someone who didn't want to be helped was a hell of a lot easier said than done.

~*~*~*~

You still hadn't heard anything from Raph over the next couple of days, although you did hear from Leo, who reached out to let you know that the family was reunited again and they'd resumed their training. He said that he did speak to Raph, but conceded that you couldn't force him to talk to you if he wasn't willing or ready yet.

So even with Leo's input, Raph still refused to see you, huh? You puffed out a deeply disappointed sigh as your chest ached. Maybe it was more than you overstepping your boundaries by asking to see his face. Maybe he regretted what the two of you had done. Perhaps for him it had been spur-of-the-moment, but once he'd calmed down after the fact and really thought about it, he didn't want to pursue anything like that with you.

But even if that were true, he shouldn't be ignoring you _entirely_. It was so unlike him to just write you off like this. Damn it, even if he only called you to yell at you or inform you that you were completely done, that would still be better than this awful limbo he'd left you hanging in. As terribly hurt as you were, with the more time that passed, the angrier you were becoming.

When nearly a week had gone by since Leo's homecoming and still not a peep from the Nightwatcher, you finally snapped during a particularly weak moment. You had not been harassing him all this time, so you knew that your sudden message would take him by surprise, making him all the more likely to read it. Good.

_(Name): Look. I've had it up to here with you. If you don't want to talk to me or see me ever again, fine. If you regret everything that happened between us, FINE. I accept whatever it is that you want. I'll deal with it, no massive confrontation required. All I want from you is one last basic gesture of decency. TELL ME. Just say the word and I will never contact you again. Please, for the sake of whatever the hell I thought we had, let me put this all behind me. This is just cruel, Raphael._

It was a slight text wall, but you didn't care. You sent it off anyway, and a part of you dared to hope that it might spark some sort of reaction from him. An apology, some furious defensive rant, anything at all.

But he said nothing. When another day had passed and you consulted Leo, who confirmed that Raph had not said a word about it to any of them, your heart sank heavily in your chest. You had your answer, didn't you? Even if he wouldn't give it straight to you himself.

You knew what that meant. It was over.

_(Name): All right. I can take a hint. I'm out, and you win. This is the last time I will ever contact you. But one last thing first: I never gave a damn about your appearance, not since the very first time we met. I would have accepted and even loved you exactly the way you are, you know. Don't push out everyone who grows close to you, Raphael. Life is short, and you never know when you might miss out on something wonderful. Goodbye._

Tears sprang in your eyes as you re-read it several times. Then you nodded to yourself and sent it, silently crying as the scope of the situation sank in. You didn't want to let him go, but he was giving you no choice. You had to take care of yourself if you were going to move forward with your life and heal again. This was the first step in doing so.

You proceeded to delete all of the messages you'd exchanged over the past year so you wouldn't be tempted to read them and relapse in a moment of weakness. Then you deleted him from your contacts and blocked his number, and for a moment wished that you could remove Leo too, though it wasn't because of anything he'd done. It was simply because you wanted to erase all aspects of your life that linked you to Raph, although you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You genuinely liked Leonardo, and you sorely regretted that you would never have a chance to meet Donatello or Michelangelo, too. From what you'd heard about them, you would have really adored them.

But it couldn't be helped. You sucked in a shaky breath, and tried to look at the situation from a different angle. Who would've thought that something like this ever would've happened? What were the chances that the city's infamous Nightwatcher would actually turn out to be an anthropomorphic mutated turtle, and end up becoming (at least temporarily) your best friend? You certainly had never expected to make out with the guy, either, and it made you chuckle a little despite your tears as you tried to imagine how your past self would have reacted to the ridiculous twist of fate.

Well, there was no use dwelling upon it. You pulled out your phone again and reached out to one of your new Meetup friends, Kim, to help stop yourself from wallowing. You suggested that you hit up a bar together tomorrow night after work, which she excitedly agreed to. Then you disappeared into the shower to freshen up before bed, as it always helped siphon away your stress.

You took your time, allowing the hot water to sluice down your body in rivulets as you scrubbed at your hair with your favorite shampoo and lathered a luxurious body conditioner upon your skin. By the time you'd shut the water off and wrapped yourself in your towel, you were feeling at least significantly calmer, if nothing else. You squeezed the excess water from your hair and treaded to your bedroom to pull out a set of fresh pajamas.

Then you heard your phone go off, and assuming it was Kim, you absentmindedly picked it up. However, you immediately paled and it nearly slipped from your fingers back onto the bed when you realized that you had nine new text messages and seven missed calls from Leo. Oh, crap.

You turned incredibly pale as you picked up your phone and dialed him back, your mouth suddenly going very dry.

"Leo? What's going on?" you asked nervously, not actually wanting to hear the answer.

"( _Name_ )! Finally!" he exclaimed on the other end, "I've been trying to get a hold of you for nearly forty minutes! Didn't you get any of my messages?"

"Oh, dammit. Leo, I'm really sorry! I was in the shower. What's happening? Are you all right?!"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I think you set off a bomb over here in the lair. Whatever you said to Raph, he's—"

"Oh, is he throwing a tantrum?" Your temper suddenly spiked and your eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry for the trouble this must have caused you guys, I really am. But he's had more than enough chances to rectify this. Now that I'm finally done with him, he suddenly has something to say? Don't make me laugh."

"Is _that_ what happened? Shell, ( _Name_ )!" Leo growled, "Did you block him?"

"How'd you know?"

"Kind of difficult _not_ to figure out, after he nearly broke his phone when he found out he can't reach you anymore."

"Oh." You shifted your feet very uncomfortably. "Well, I don't see what reason he has to behave like this. I asked him to reach out to me, multiple times. So did you. He's literally had weeks, and _now_ he wants to talk? He didn't take advantage of it, so it's too late!"

"You can't say that, ( _Name_ ). Not without talking to him first," Leo objected, and you could almost imagine him shaking his head on the other end. "Look, I know exactly how frustrating he can be. He's been my brother all these years. He doesn't know how to say what he really means far more often than not, and...okay. I know I'm probably prying here. But I have a feeling there was a little more going on between you two than meets the eye, right?"

You didn't say anything, though a flush was slowly crawling up your face.

"That's what I thought," Leo said with a deep, resolute sigh. "Listen, sensitivity isn't something that comes easily to him. As a result, he's hurt all of us at one point or another, and I'm sorry to say that he's now done the same to you. But I can promise you that he really does care, even if he's not too adept at showing it. In fact, the way he's been acting toward you probably has everything to do with him not wanting to lose you."

"What?" You immediately snorted with a derisive laugh.

"Yeah, I know," Leo responded ruefully, lowering his voice slightly, as if trying to keep your conversation somewhat private. "It sounds completely counter-intuitive. Grow afraid of rejection or losing her? Lash out or completely ignore her. He's an idiot, ( _Name_ ). But I know one thing for certain, he's terrified right now. You scared the _crap_ out of him. I don't think he really believed you would just cut him off like that."

"Yeah, well, he couldn't expect to keep pushing me like that. I have feelings, too, and he was trampling all over them. I have to protect myself, too." Though your voice had also grown quieter and Leo's words were making you feel conflicted.

"Can you just give him one final chance?" Leo asked gently. "I won't force you, if you truly are done with him. I'm not going to deny that he'd deserve it, after the way he's treated you. But I'm begging you, as his brother, please talk to him first before you write him off for good."

"What do you think I've been _trying_ to do for a month?" you grumbled, but you felt yourself softening. Who were you kidding? You hadn't wanted things to end the way they did. All you'd wanted in the first place was a chance to finally address these issues with Raph, though you wished it hadn't required completely cutting him off for him to finally snap to his senses. "But okay. I'll talk to him."

"Thanks, ( _Name_ )." Leo sounded relieved. "Uh, are you decent? I'll let him know he can come see you. I think you two need some privacy to discuss this in person."

"I'll be done changing before he arrives. Sorry for all of this trouble, Leo. For what it's worth, you'd make one damn good therapist."

You both laughed despite the severity of the situation.

"All right. I'll let him know. Good luck." When he hung up, you crossed the room to stare at yourself in the mirror above your bureau. Your face was heavily flushed with anticipation, and every nerve felt on edge as you couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to say. This would be your first face-to-face encounter in weeks, but you had no way of knowing whether things would ever be the same between you again. Was he going to snap at you? Cut you out of his life? Apologize for behaving like a complete jackass, but then awkwardly tell you that he just didn’t think of you in _that_ way? God, it was torturous even running through the scenarios.

The next fifteen minutes seemed to crawl by. You were in the process of distractedly combing out your damp hair when you heard several hurried raps in succession upon your window, and you had to take a moment to brace yourself. Then you straightened up and made your way over to the terrace, fully expecting to see the whole Nightwatcher ensemble awaiting you, like you had for nearly a year each time he visited your apartment.

But you froze in the middle of opening the sliding glass door when you saw who was waiting for you instead. Not Leo, although he was very similar. Your eyes traveled from head to toe as you drank in the sight of Raphael for the very first time. The _real_ Raph.

He was slightly shorter than Leo, although his firm, lean muscles were even more well-defined. His skin was a darker shade of green, and he wore a bright red mask lashed around his head just as Leo did, and possessed piercing amber eyes that he had yet to tear away from you. His trademark sai were stashed on either side of his waist, almost haphazardly as if they’d been thrown on as an afterthought. Beside the plastron that covered his chest, there was a small scar marring his side, something you might have overlooked entirely if you hadn't been the one to treat and bandage it several months ago.

His expression said it all. Leo hadn't been lying. Raphael was panicked, horribly upset, and petrified all at once. He was so afraid of losing you that he'd rushed here to meet you without the slightest pretense of hiding himself from you any longer. You felt all of your vows to remain cold and reserved toward him instantly fade away, and had to blink back a sheen of tears that threatened to spill from your eyes.

"Raph," you choked out.

"( _N-Name_ )," he said, one of the only times you'd ever heard him stammer. You immediately recognized his voice, and nearly collapsed against the door frame in relief. This wasn't a dream. He was finally letting you in, completely. "Uh...look, I--"

You cut him off by shoving the door the rest of the way open and throwing yourself into his arms. He inhaled sharply in surprise but reacted just in time to catch you, and you buried your head into his chest.

"Finally. _Finally_ , you've stopped hiding from me. You don't know how happy I am that you've finally shown me who you really are." A few silent tears did escape from your eyes, and he hesitantly wiped them away with his thumb after a long moment where he tensed up against you.

"You're...you're really not afraid?" he whispered after a full minute had passed, his voice edged with incredulous shock and disbelief. You shook your head. "You ain't revolted by me?" You shook your head again.

"You idiot. Didn't I tell you from the very first night we met that I don't _care_ what you look like?"

You heard him intake a shaky breath before he nodded. You took him by surprise when you suddenly pulled back and slapped your palm roughly against his plastron.

"You moron. You huge _jerk_. How could you be such an asshole?! You left me hanging like that, and _ran away_ , and completely ignored me for a month! I thought you never wanted to see me again! I thought you hated me! I thoug—"

He cut you off with a deep kiss, yanking you close again and seizing your face between his hands. The tails of his mask fluttered over both of your heads as he leaned into you, his cool breath fanning over your skin and setting your every nerve alight in a way you hadn't known was possible. You slowly slid your arms around his shoulders as you gradually began to return it, little by little melting into him before you finally broke apart for air.

"Ya thought wrong," he whispered hoarsely upon breaking away, "Goddammit, ( _Name_ ), I really _am_ an asshole. I was so fuckin' scared of losin' ya that I made ya walk away. I'm so sorry. I know I really screwed this up. I don’t know what the hell I was thinkin’. Please don't shut me out. I—"

This time you were the one to interrupt him, standing upon your tiptoes to draw him back in for another long, slow kiss on the mouth. It was filled with every ounce of passion, acceptance, and affection that you felt for him, and when you pulled back, his eyes were lidded and he was visibly dazed.

"Shut up," you whispered back breathlessly, "Don't you dare do anything like that again, and we'll call it even. I care about you too much to lose you, Raphael."

"I love you," he breathed in your ear in return, causing you to freeze in his arms, "Ya won't lose me. I swear I won't ever hurt ya like this again. Just don't go, ( _Name_ ). Don't go." His voice cracked a little, betraying just how terrified he really was. It just was as Leo had said...he was completely distraught. You had never once seen his confidence shaken so badly. He really was completely baring himself to you. You cupped his face with both of your hands and firmly held his gaze.

"This was all I ever wanted. Just us being completely open and honest with each other. I'm not going anywhere, Raph." You embraced each other tightly upon the veranda, and remained that way for a couple of surreal minutes before you began to feel chilly from the brisk night breeze and your thin pajamas. Raph felt you shiver and tightened his grip around you with a worried gleam in his eyes.

"C'mon, let's get inside," he mumbled, and you ducked into the warmth together before shutting the window behind you. He ran his hands up and down your arms in an attempt to create some friction and warm you up, and you nearly cried from happiness at the simple, tender affection in such a gesture.

"Thanks, Raph." Your voice was muffled into his chest, and now he moved one of his hands to the back of your head to mesh into your hair.

"Listen, babe," he said after a moment, his voice low and thick, though lined with slight hesitation. "I've got two questions for ya, and they're both pretty important. Here's the first one...do ya want to finally come meet my family?"

Tears filled your eyes again and you nodded, wondering if it were possible to feel any more ecstatic than you did in that moment. Although apparently, Raphael was still going to do you one better. He closed his eyes and squeezed you tighter as his mouth moved wordlessly for a moment.

"And...look, I wanna do things right. I've never felt like this about anyone before. So I guess I was also wonderin'..." He trailed off very uncomfortably, and your heart stuttered in your chest as you sensed what he was getting at. " _Ugh_ , why is this so damn hard?! Look, will ya be my girlfriend?"

A sob shook your body as you grinned up at him despite your misty eyes, and you nodded. His own eyes widened in shock, as if he hadn't actually expected you to say yes.

"Wait…ya will?" It was almost adorable how dumbfounded he was, especially considering how hardheaded and stubborn he usually came across.

"Of course I will! I love you too, you jerk." You wiped at your eyes, trying to stem the flow of happy tears. "Damn it, you've practically turned me into a faucet. This is mortifying, but I can't stop. I'm just so happy."

He began to chuckle in response, slowly at first, but gradually increasing in both volume and intensity until he was full-on laughing, and you soon joined him. You lost track of how long you remained in each other's arms, simply laughing together and basking in the sheer, overpowering relief that you both felt, at the absurdity and unlikelihood of the whole situation that had brought you here. His fingers gently knotted into your hair, and once the mirth had finally subsided, you nestled your head into his shoulder.

"Am I meeting the family tonight?"

"If ya want. We can also stay here." He rested his chin atop your head so that you were snugly tucked beneath him, and you smiled to yourself.

"I think we should. I'm really overdue for it, plus I really need to thank Leo. He ran a lot of interference for us both."

"Yeah, I guess he did." Raph squared his jaw somewhat uncomfortably. "Shell, I'm in for one hell of a lecture when we get back to the lair."

"Maybe they'll put it off for a bit while I'm visiting with you," you teased him, and he reached down to chuck your chin.

"Then maybe I'll never let you leave," he rumbled mischievously, and you couldn't help but giggle. His smirk widened, and he slung his arm over your shoulders before glancing down at your fairly revealing outfit.

"Not that I mind the view or anythin', but it's definitely not somethin' I want to share with my brothers. How about we get ya changed into somethin' a little warmer?"

"Nice try, Raph. How about _I_ get changed into something a little warmer?" you corrected him while shaking your head and ducking out of his grasp.

He respectfully turned his head while you changed into a sweater and pair of warm leggings, and you locked up your apartment before allowing him to pick you up and help situate you upon the back of his shell.

"Hang on tight, princess," he barked, "It's gonna be a bumpy ride!" You were so accustomed to riding on his motorcycle that you certainly didn't expect him to take off on a completely unexpected series of daring leaps across multiple rooftops. You yelped in surprise and clung to his shell for dear life, squeezing him with every ounce of your strength in an effort to avoid plunging to an untimely demise in the streets below.

It seemed that your fears were unfounded, however, as it soon became apparent that this was normal for him and you finally dared to peek over his shoulder. New York was rushing by in an exhilarating blur of illuminated buildings and cars, and Raph moved with a practiced ease that eventually led to you relax and loosen your grip a little. You were more than a little windblown by the time you came to a stop in a secluded alleyway, though, and you raised a very pointed eyebrow at him while taking a moment to adjust your disheveled hair and regain your shaky footing on the ground. _That_ was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Hey, you all right? Sorry about that. Probably should’ve given ya more warning.” His tone was a bit sheepish, but now that you’d had a chance to recover, you played it off with a shrug. Hey, some adrenaline and a near-death experience every now and then never hurt anybody, right?

“Don’t worry about it. I think I like traveling by motorcycle better, though.” You winked at him. “So where are we going, exactly?”

“Ah. Right. Leo probably didn't tell ya where the lair is. It's underground," he admitted, scratching behind his head a little awkwardly. "Had to be somewhere people wouldn't easily just stumble across us, y'see."

"Makes sense. Let's go." You smiled up at him, and he stared at you in disbelief.

"How d'ya always _do_ that? It's like nothin' fazes ya," he said admiringly. "Never mind, you're right. Let's get goin'." He helped guide you down into the intricate sewer systems below New York, and took your hand as he led you through an intricate, confusing series of passageways before you dropped into a surprisingly cozy, homey, and well-lit area beyond an abandoned subway station.

You spotted Leo almost immediately upon walking into what appeared to be a large living room with high concrete ceilings, complete with comfortable-looking furniture, pinball machines, and a flat-screen TV. Perched upon one of the couches was another turtle with bright blue eyes and an orange mask, whose jaw had dropped upon spotting you.

"Holy mother of mutagen!" he yelped, suddenly scrambling to his feet and sprinting past Leo to make a beeline straight for you. "It's ( _Name_ )! Oh man, dudette, I've been waiting to meet you for ages! I'm Mikey!"

"Hi, Mikey!" you greeted him while laughing, and when he squeezed you in an exuberant hug, you happily returned it. He was obviously a peppy ball of sunshine, and you could already tell that you were going to get along well. "I've been waiting to meet you for a long time, too! Better late than never, right?"

"Yeah! Looks like you guys finally worked things out, huh? Good for you!" He beamed from ear-to-ear, and only stepped aside when Leo approached you. He was smiling gently, and you took a step forward before embracing him while mumbling out a stream of thank you's.

"You're welcome," he said with a chuckle of his deep voice, returning the hug while lightly rubbing your back, "Glad to see that everything's finally calmed down." He dipped lower to whisper privately into your ear. "Told you that he cares. Actually, right now he looks like he'd like to throttle me for even touching you, so maybe he even cares a little too much. Good luck dealing with that overprotective streak of his."

Leo pulled away and straightened up while you exchanged amused grins, and indeed when you glanced back at Raph, he'd already fixated his older brother with a deeply irritated glare. It did soften slightly when you reached for his hand, though, and you went to go find Donatello next. You knew you'd located the resident brainiac when you spotted a purple-clad turtle bent in front of an intricate network of computer screens with his tongue jutting thoughtfully out of the side of his mouth.

"Yo, Donnie. Someone's here to meet ya," Raph said gruffly, slipping his arm around your waist as if he wasn't keen on yet another one of his brothers pulling you into a hug, and the other turtle turned around with a look of surprise.

"Oh! This must be ( _Name_ ). It's nice to finally meet you! I'm Donatello, but you can call me Donnie." He extended his hand with a friendly smile, and you were pleased when you reached out to shake his hand.

"I'm really thankful I've finally had an opportunity to meet you, too! There's so much I was hoping to talk to you about, based upon what Raph's told me about you!"

"Ah, really?" He seemed a bit flustered and embarrassed, and it was actually quite cute. "W-well, sure. Any time, just let me know if there's something you'd like to discuss, and I'd be more than happy to."

Someone cleared their throat from behind you and while you were expecting to see another terrapin, you were stunned to instead see a small but stately rat dressed in Japanese robes with a stooped posture.

"Dad!" Raph sounded slightly nervous, though even so, his Brooklyn accent was irresistible. You were careful not to give that away in your expression, however, as you knew that Splinter was his adoptive father figure and you were determined to demonstrate the proper respect. "Sensei, uh...this is ( _Name_ ). ( _Name_ ), this is Splinter, my dad."

You felt a little nervous as well, but dropped into a polite bow with a small smile upon your face. "It’s such a privilege to finally meet you, Master Splinter. My apologies for dropping in unannounced like this! I hope I haven’t caused your family any inconvenience.”

"There is no need for such formalities. There is no inconvenience, child, and you may simply call me Splinter.” He regarded you with a warm smile that took you aback. “( _Name_ ), what a pleasure it is to finally welcome you to our home. You have been dear to our Raphael for many months now. Thank you for not divulging the secret of our existence to anyone and protecting our way of life."

You were touched by his welcoming demeanor. "Thank you for having me here, and I promise I would never do anything to jeopardize the safety of your family. You have my word."

"We appreciate that very much." Raph had dropped his arm from your waist as soon as his father had approached, although he was still standing in fairly close proximity to you, and you could've sworn that Splinter's mouth was twitching into a knowing smile. "My son, are you sure there is nothing else you wish to share with us?"

"Oh. Well. Y'know," he mumbled, turning nearly as red as his mask in embarrassment. You reached out to place your hand into his to reassure him, and he smiled at you weakly. "Right. Uh, I'm sure it's obvious to everyone by now, but...( _Name_ )'s my girlfriend."

Mikey immediately let out a loud whoop in the background, and Donnie gave a sarcastic slow-clap, though the grin on his face gave away the fact that he was happy for his brother. Leo dropped his arms over both of your shoulders.

"About time." Then he released you with a small smirk of his own, and Raph scowled at him while his face continued to burn with embarrassment.

"Indeed. Welcome to our home, ( _Name_ ). You are welcome here any time. Our family is your family." Splinter nodded to you, and Raph tightened his grip around your hand. You felt so pleased that you could nearly burst, though thankfully you managed to contain it and instead settled for thanking everyone. You couldn't stay for very long considering how late it already was and you had to work first thing in the morning, but you were extremely glad you'd taken the time to meet them at long last.

Before you left you added Mikey and Donnie to your list of contacts, and re-added Raph to your address book.

"I'm sorry I did that," you said to him quietly as you headed back toward your apartment, "I just thought you never wanted to see me again, and it would've hurt too much to see your name in my phone."

"Yeah, I get it." He frowned a little. "Listen sweetheart, I'm never gonna push ya out of my life, okay? Even if I'm actin' like some jackass, don't listen to me. Just give me some time to cool down and get my act together. I'm tellin' ya right now, if ya ever do somethin' like that again or shut me down for real, I'm gonna lose my damn mind."

"I'm sorry," you repeated, leaning up to kiss his cheek apologetically. "We're both going to think more carefully about that sort of thing in the future, it sounds like."

"Yeah." He bent his head so that he could meet your lips this time instead. "By the way, we're real overdue to pick back up where we left off that night." He smirked roguishly, and you immediately blushed.

"I'm liking the sound of that, Raphael."

Trust me, so did he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY, I KNOW MY ABILITY TO WRITE HAS DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. But better late than never?? -wishful thinking-


End file.
